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I've tried to find similar examples with the appropriate answer, but this sentence is just a little quirky and I don't have a great grasp of how to use as well or where to place my commas.

As is:

"He is moved by this display of bravery as well as the brutal response of the soldiers, who beat the dissenters bloody."

Ideas:

  1. "He is moved by this display of bravery, as well as the brutal response of the soldiers, who beat the dissenters bloody."
  2. He is moved by this display of bravery, as well as the brutal response of the soldiers who beat the dissenters bloody.

I had it written as #1 and my understanding is that the first comma is unnecessary. Is this really true? It feels unnatural when I read it aloud.

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  • As already answered, the first comma is optional. However, there is a difference in meaning when you omit the second comma: "the soldiers, who beat the dissenters bloody" (all the soldiers beat the dissenters bloody) versus "the soldiers who beat the dissenters bloody" (maybe not all soldiers beat the dissenters, but we are now only talking about those who did, this is a subset of "the soldiers").
    – Flater
    Commented Jul 14, 2017 at 9:06
  • I think this is what Xanne meant by "non-restrictive relative pronoun." Here is a page from Walden University covering "restrictive" and "relative" clauses. Link
    – Oscar Wilder
    Commented Jul 20, 2017 at 6:14

1 Answer 1

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I like the original in bold. You need the comma after soldiers, because "who" is a non-restrictive relative pronoun. The comma after bravery is a style question.

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