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In a video game, we are using a sentence to tell the user that if he fails to reach end of the level, he will lose the stars he collected in that level.

Which one is better?

  1. Level stars counts only if you finish the level
  2. Level stars are counted only if you finish the level.

And, is it OK to have two "level"s in the sentence?

Should we replace or remove one of them?

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    Finish the level to gain (level) stars. If you fail to finish the level, you will lose the gained stars. Stars are counted only if the level is (successfully) finished. Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 9:30
  • The second is better. In the first, the subject stars has a singular verb; it needs a plural. You could also say: Level stars will be lost if the level isn't finished.
    – Xanne
    Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 10:07
  • The stars of a level count only if that level is completed.
    – Hot Licks
    Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 12:58

1 Answer 1

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The first one would be better of the two.

But you would need to reword it slightly like so:

Level stars count only if you finish the level

The second one is slightly ambiguous: -

Level stars are counted only if you finish the level

Could mean that the stars aren't being counted, until after a level is finished, which could be read to mean only stars earned in a later level will be counted. Which is not your intended meaning from your post.

And, is it OK to have two "level"s in the sentence?

As you are using the word 'level' to mean the same thing in the sentence, there is no additional work on the part of the reader to parse the meaning so it works fine I would say. If the words were Homographs, same spelling but different meanings, e.g.

I told him a lie and then went to lie down

This would be less desirable as there is extra work on the part of the reader to parse the meaning. So to answer that part of your question word repetition is always 'ok' but it comes down to a decision on your part as to if the way you have constructed the sentence conveys your meaning as clearly as possible, if it doesn't, then it's time to look at rewording it!

I think this would be be a better construction for your intended use: -

Any stars collected will not count unless you complete the level.

Because it is unambiguous and also avoids that repetition you mentioned which makes the sentence slightly less awkward. If you have more than one type of 'star' in the game, and you need to differentiate the 'level' stars specifically I would go with

Any level stars collected will not count unless you complete the level.

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  • thanks Gary. There is only one type of star in the levels. We preferred the sentence to be positive (not to contain "lose", "not complete", "will not", etc) as much as possible, what if we want not to use "unless"? what about "Any stars collected will count only after you complete the level." Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 12:45
  • @roointan I think the construction is a little awkward, because you are saying the 'stars...will count' and then modifying that, such that this is only true if the level is completed. How about something like this: "Stars collected will only be counted upon level completion" ; or "Stars collected will only count if you finish the level"
    – Gary
    Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 12:59
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    Thank you. we selected this: "Stars collected will only count if you finish the level" Commented Mar 11, 2017 at 13:06

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