How can we refer to a gentlemen's agreement in a gender-neutral way in English?
In Spanish we use palabra de honor meaning “word of honor”, which carries no assumption about anyone’s sex.
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2maybe "scout's honor" ..."on a handshake"?– Cascabel_StandWithUkraine_Commented Oct 12, 2020 at 6:19
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1palabra de honor is word of honor. Not gentlemen's agreement. And it may or may not have to do with an agreement.– LambieCommented Oct 12, 2020 at 16:32
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FWIW, this question helped me find the "bond of manrent," which may be in the wrong direction.– TaliesinMerlinCommented Oct 12, 2020 at 20:53
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The term Gentleman's Agreement often has negative connotations referring to unfair agreements between men, as in the 1947 film about antisemitism. Making it gender-neutral loses those associations.– Stuart FCommented Mar 1 at 9:37
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3 Answers
A verbal agreement is a phrase you could use; an informal agreement would be another.
Wikipedia defines it as follows:
A gentlemen's agreement, or gentleman's agreement, is an informal and legally non-binding agreement between two or more parties. It is typically oral, but it may be written or simply understood as part of an unspoken agreement by convention or through mutually-beneficial etiquette.
Its main characteristics are that it’s not legally enforceable, and thus based on trust.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentlemen's_agreement provides details on the use of the term in commerce and trade.
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2Verbal agreement seems to have less weight than Gentleman's agreement, it is like there is a social norm that you really have to honor it or else your reputation would be in jeopardy. Commented Oct 12, 2020 at 8:30
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2@JacksonPlumber This phrase has really lost, at least in the United States, its gender implications. People make informal agreements regularly, among both sexes. Commercially there may be a possibility of a loss of reputation, but probably not widespread, depending on the industry. E.g., I'll take care of this bill (charge), and you can reimburse me later, or you take care of the next one. I'll pick the children up Wednesday, you pick them up Thursday etc. If one party fails to often to meet obligations, the parties would cease to make agreements, but it's not widespread.– XanneCommented Oct 12, 2020 at 10:11
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Verbal agreements are often legally enforceable. While it is true that informal agreement can generally be used as a substitute for gentlemen's agreement, it is a rather poor substitute, as it doesn't carry the rich associations of the latter term.– jsw29Commented Oct 12, 2020 at 21:05
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Agree that "gentlemen's agreement" carries richer associations – especially when one is wanting a phrase that also expresses humor or hyperbole. I landed on this question from a search; was unsatisfied with the suggestion of "informal agreement," then spontaneously used genteel agreement in the context where I had wanted to use "gentlemen's." Still, there's probably something better to be found.– JerryCommented Nov 15, 2023 at 16:22
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1Part of the strength of the term is that it is among Gentlemen, that is to say honorable men or people of public standing and reputation. They would not be likely to back out of an agreement even if only verbal. Being male is not a necessary part of the deal though always a worry to the PC crowd.– ElliotCommented Jul 11 at 20:22
Resurrecting this as I've had to come up with a good alternative. I've been in discussions that happened to be 3 men, and so using "gentleman's agreement" was not horribly out of line. But I don't want to carry on with it because (1) it sounds archaic regardless and (2) other stakeholders, including women, might become involved.
My best alternatives so far:
- "Honorable parties agreement" maintains the same construction of modifier+"agreement" and is a fairly literal, non-gendered alternative. It's faithful to the original in relying on the implied trustworthiness of each party. It feels a little awkward, but it's a step in the right direction.
- "Mutual trust basis" sounds more natural. It's less faithful to the original in that it expresses the trust each party has in the other, rather than implying inherent trustworthiness in each party. Its meaning is slightly different, but its effect is largely the same.
EDIT: I've started using "good faith agreement," which I think honestly is a keeper!
A gender-neutral way to refer to a "gentlemen's agreement" in English is to say "informal agreement" or "word of honor." Both terms convey the same idea without assuming the gender of the parties involved.
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Informal agreement has already been proposed in another answer, and word of honor appears in the question itself. This answer therefore does not add anything to what has been posted on the page before.– jsw29Commented Jul 14 at 15:13