Here is some more info...

This individual has a drug problem... people close to him have concluded that he is suffering from some form of personality disorder, thus, he is self medicating with illicit drugs. having a conversation with him feels like I'm constantly trying to tip toe on eggshells so I don't set him off by saying the "wrong thing". However, no matter how hard I try to compliment him, tell him how much I can empathize with him, etc. He ALWAYS twists my words into something they are obviously not... making me the horrible person and him the victim. Not to mention his milquetoast and "it's everyone else's fault for his problems, he is perfect " personality.

AS IN, "I can't continue to have any further contact with him, due to his _________ tendencies. It's making me crazy!"

  • Could you re-phrase your Question, or take it to a medical forum? I suggest nothing in your "more info.." is in any way helpful, except to show that what you Asked wasn't really what you were interested in. You seem to be looking for some kind of medical term… which would be purely medical; in ordinary English, hardly understood. How could a drug problem be relevant? How could a personality disorder matter? How could medication matter? How might a conversation feeling like trying to tip-toe on eggshells help? How could trying to compliment him help? May 3, 2020 at 18:35

3 Answers 3


Not exact, but the term 'gaslight' sort of fits.

manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity

Although this does not specifically apply to twisting someone's words, the effect is similar.


Self-victimization or Playing the victim are both common expressions.

From Wikkipedia:

Victim playing (also known as playing the victim, victim card or self-victimization) is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy or attention seeking.


Denial is also a defense mechanism commonly used by those with substance abuse problems and sounds related to your question.

From Psychcentral.com article: Denial: The Primary Roadbloack to Addiction Recovery on the symptoms of denial

They view themselves as a victim. Addicts may think they face more stress than everyone else or that life is out to get them, therefore, they wouldn’t be able to cope without drugs or alcohol.

Or perhaps he is just being Manipulative. From Dictionary.com:

Manipulative - adjective

  1. Influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one’s own purposes:
  • I'd go with 'manipulative'.
    – tk421
    Dec 27, 2018 at 5:11

"I can't continue to have any further contact with him, due to his denial of his drug abuse".

denial TFD

b. Psychology: An unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings.

Those persons addicted to drugs/alcohol reduce of anxiety by the unconscious exclusion from the mind (denial) of intolerable thoughts or facts, especially when presented by loved ones and friends.

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