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Here are my constructions:

  1. Ability to monitor and configure devices among others the company's Cisco Systems, workstations and servers using open-source and Microsoft software.
  2. Ability to monitor and configure devices such as the company's Cisco Systems, workstations and servers using open-source and Microsoft software.

So my question is, should I use 'among others' or 'such as'?

Thank you in advance for your help.

P.S. This is an item in a list.

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  • 1
    Since when does Cisco Systems make workstations and servers?
    – tchrist
    Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 12:37
  • Is this the title of a report? Is it an item in a list? Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 12:40
  • (2) is fine grammatically. If you're happy with a sentence fragment. (1) needs a stop (perhaps as heavy-duty as a colon) after 'devices'. Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 12:52
  • I wouldn't use either - including seems a more natural choice here. Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 13:27
  • There's a subtle-to-significant difference between the use of among and such as -- if you are interested in the difference, search around the web a little and let us know what you found; else either should be fine, they are both grammatical and acceptable. Just include a comma in all the appropriate places. Good Luck.
    – Kris
    Commented Apr 12, 2015 at 13:49

1 Answer 1

1

The second sentence is fine, but I question the capitalization of "Systems". You are talking about systems ( the plural noun ), not a proper name, right?

The first sentence contains some nonsense. Most writing is easy to fix by removing stuff until you are left with the core, then adding things back in a way that makes sense.

Let's try one of these simplifications...

"Ability to monitor devices the company's workstations."

Now you can see the nonsense -- you are specifying an object twice. Adding "among others" doesn't help, as you can see:

"Ability to monitor devices among others the company's workstations."

You could, however, try this...

"Ability to monitor, among other devices, the company's workstations."

...which can help us sort the original first sentence, like so:

"Ability to monitor and configure, among other devices, the company's Cisco systems, workstations, and servers, using open-source and Microsoft software."

Note that I use the Oxford comma ( and can argue for its unequivocal value ), and I also placed a comma before the dependent clause at the end, because it's a natural place to pause when speaking.

Lastly, although it's a fine point, re-ordering can eliminate some ambiguity that comes from deciding whether or not to distribute the specifier "Cisco" to the list of nouns following it. In addition, to get rid of the unpleasant sound of the repetition "soft soft", we reverse the order of the last two nouns. The final result is:

"Ability to monitor and configure, among other devices, the company's workstations, servers, and Cisco systems, using Microsoft and open-source software."

This makes it clear that the workstations and servers are not necessarily Cisco systems, and also provides a more melodious finish to the sentence.

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