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I am writing an email, in which I would like to ask for something but I don't want to be very direct. I came up with the following two constructions:

In addition, I will not be receiving my stipend while working. So please consider my remuneration package carefully.

In addition, I will not be receiving my stipend while working. So I would like you to consider my remuneration package carefully.

Any additional improvements are welcome.

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  • Use please since it's a request - the 2nd sounds like you are asking them to consider it rather than having someone else do so.
    – mgb
    Commented Jun 11, 2012 at 3:46
  • @mgb- I also want to negotiate.
    – Noah
    Commented Jun 11, 2012 at 3:48
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    Adding the "carefully" at the end almost sounds like a veiled threat. As in "You're on shaky ground , so please choose your next words carefully." I might rephrase as, "In addition, you may be aware that I will not be receiving my stipend while working, so please bear that in mind as we negotiate my remuneration package."
    – Jim
    Commented Jun 11, 2012 at 4:58
  • @Jim. Great. Can't believe you nailed it.
    – Noah
    Commented Jun 11, 2012 at 8:38
  • you're not contrasting would like with please, you're contrasting would like you to with please.
    – Matt E. Эллен
    Commented Jun 11, 2012 at 12:37

1 Answer 1

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Here's another indirect construction, and I think the one that I would use if negotiating:

In addition, I will not be receiving my stipend while working. So I would appreciate it if you could consider my remuneration package carefully.

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