Meaning of "bear and forbear"

Question

It's a idiom and i couldn't find the definition. It isn't even in a sentence so i'm really confused now..

Answer 1

The expression "bear and forebear" may be a bit out of fashion today, but it has been in use since 1550 (at least) as a succinct form of advice to endure something unwanted, adverse, insulting, or otherwise negative and to refrain from striking back against the source of that negative thing.

Jennifer Speake & John Simpson, The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs (1982/1999) has this entry for "Bear and forebear":

Bear and forebear Cf. EPICTETUS Fragments X. ανεχου και απεχου, be patient and endure; ERASMUS Adages II. vii. 13 sustine et abstine. | 1573 T. TUSSER Husbandry (rev. ed.) II. 12^V Both beare and forbeare, now and then as ye may, then wench God a mercy {reward you}, thy husband will say. 1688 BUNYAN Discourse of Building, &c. House of God 53 To bear and forebear here, will tend to rest. 1871 S. SMILES Character xi. The golden rule of married life is, 'Bear and forbear'. 1940 H.W. THOMPSON Body, Boots & Britches xix. You must take two bears to live with you—Bear and Forbear.

Martin Manser, The Facts on File Dictionary of Proverbs (2002) explains the sense of the expression as follows:

bear and forebear Patience, tolerance, endurance, and forgiveness are valuable qualities in all walks of life: "'Davie, ye'll have to try and forgive me.' 'O man, let's say no more about it! ... We're neither one of us to mend the other—that's the truth! We must just bear and forbear'" (Robert Louis Stevenson, Kidnapped, 1886). First recorded in this form in 1573, the proverb is probably of ancient origin: the Greek philosopher Epictetus (first century A.D.) wrote "be patient and endure." In its early use the proverb was often put forward as a formula for harmonious married life.

Manser's observation notwithstanding, many of the earliest occurrences of the expression appear in the context of religious instruction or Biblical commentaries.

An antecedent of the expression appears in Thomas Cranmer, Catechismus, That Is to Say, A Shorte Instruction into Christian Religion for the Synguler Commoditie and Profyte of Childre[n] and Yong People (1548):

For Christ saieth. Blessed be the peace makers, for they shal be called the children of God. Wherfore good children, printe wel in your remēbraunce, that God hath commaūded, Thou shalt not kyll, and that we can not offer a more acceptable sacrifice to God, then to kepe his cōmaundemētes. Make your selfes strong therfore patiently to suffre all thynges, reuenge not your selues but leaue al punyshement to God, and he wyll reuenge your quarrelles. Be not inflamed wyth angre, hatred or enuye against your neighbor, do no wrōg to hym, beare with his weakenesse and forbeare hym, hurte hym not, but rather defēde him from hurt, sow, and norishe vnitie, peace and frendshyp betwene all men, make agrementes & loue daies betwene them that be fallen at discorde, auoyde all occasyons of angre or displeasure, as braggynge, boastyng, reuilynge, tawntynge, scornynge, dicynge, bankettyng, riote and suche lyke offences.

The earliest instance of the exact wording "Bear and forbear" that a search of Early English Bioks Online identifies is from Otto Werdmüller, A Spyrytuall and Moost Precyouse Pearle Teachyng All Men to Loue and Imbrace the Crosse, as a Mooste Swete and Necessary Thyng, vnto the Sowle, and What Comfort Is to Be Taken Thereof (1550), where it appears as "a common proverb and sentence":

If thou canst consyder the order and course of nature that is naturallye wrytten in thy harte, thou shalt thereby lerne and conclude that a man oughte to be so strong and stedfast that he oughte not to be moued by anye smart, payne or other temptacyon to doo any thyng that is vnsemyng or agaynst honesty.

And out of thys honestye wronghte & planted in nature, spronge the learnynge and examples of the wyse and notable heathen men, whych we cal Philosophers, Amonge whom thys was a comon prouerb and sentence, Beare and forbeare:

The fyrste worde where of teacheth that we shuld suffer the crosse pacyently, and to be styll and meake whan we are vysyted therewyth.

And the seconde sygnyfyeth that we shuld hate, flee and auoyde all maner of examples, wordes or deedes that myghte geue anye maner of occasyon to anye euyll.

As both the Oxford and the Facts on File dictionaries of proverbs (cited above) suggest, the heathen philosopher most closely associated with the expression is Epictetus, as we see in this annotation in James Sandford's 1567 translation of The Manuel of Epictetus:

It is maruell that this morall and auailable saying of Epictetus was omitted, 〈characters in a non-Latin alphabet〉, that is, Beare and Forbeare, whiche be vsed very often, and doth in a manner comprehende al that whereof mencion is made at large in this boke.

From Hugh Latimer, 27 Sermons Preached by the Ryght Reuerende Father in God and Constant Matir of Iesus Christe, Maister Hugh Latimer (1552/1562):

Yf we were earnest and zelouse as we should be, O howe hotte we woulde bee in promoting Gods honour, and sanctifyeng hys name: we woulde nor coulde not suffer that any bodye shoulde goe aboute to dishonest the holye name of GOD. But we be verye colde, we care not for his honour: we oughte to bee paciente in oure owne quarell, whan any bodye doth vs wrong, we ought to beare and forbeare it: but in gods behalfe we oughte to be hotte and earnest to defende his honor as much as lyeth in vs to doe. But it is cleane contrarye with vs: for in oure owne quarell we be as hotte as coales: But in gods cause, for his honour, we care not, we regarde it as nothyng, wheras it oughte moste aboue all to bee regarded.

From Roger Edgeworth, Sermons Very Fruitfull, Godly, and Learned, Preached and Sette Foorth by Maister Roger Edgeworth, Doctoure of Diuinitie, Canon of the Cathedrall Churches of Sarisburie, Welles and Bristow, Residentiary in the Cathedrall Churche of Welles, and Chauncellour of the same Churche (1557):

Then to conclude with Sainte Peter, you must vse youre selues towarde youre wyues, dwellinge and kepinge house with them, after science and wisedome, withoute crokednes, rygoure, and malyce, honouringe them, bearinge with theim, and forbearinge them, as the weaker vessell, and disposed to manye infyrmities, and therefore vsinge them honestly, prouidinge for theim after youre habilitie and power, that they lacke not that is necessarye for theim, because they be par∣takers of lyke glorye as you be. And all this muste you do (sayth Saint Peter) Vt non impediantur orationes vestrae, that youre prayers be not lette and hindered frome their effecte by the contrarie, for if there be rancoure, malice, and stryfe betwixte you, GOD will not heare your prayers, for he is the GOD of peace, and not of discention and debate. Therefore he that wyl be hearde, muste be peaceable, and no brawler.

Also, from Robert Cawdray, A Treasury, Or Storehouse of Similes (1609):

As our Sauiour Christ did not breake the brused reede, nor quench the smoaking flaxe, that is, did beare with many infirmities in those who were his Disciples, least he should breake off or quench those good things which began to appeare in them : Euen so such as are strong Christians ought also to beare and forbeare, to cherish and foster such good things as they shall perceyue to beginne to liue and growe in their weake brethren. Rom.15.1.1. Cor.9.22. Gal.6.1.2.

The expression has sometimes appeared in secular educational settings as well. For example, from "Morals: General Course," in Sixteenth Biennial Report of the Commissioner of Public Lands and Buildings to the Governor of the State of Nebraska (December 1, 1908):

The training of boys in in morals is more a problem of atmosphere, example and ideals than of course of study.

...The following course of instruction in Morals, adapted from the Illinois Course of Study for the Common School is to be taught in each school.

...

Self-Control—1. Needed for growth of character. 2. Of more value than wealth, power, fame or pleasure. 3. It is a duty one owes to self. 4. Control of temper. 5. Anger, when right. 6. Avoidance of hasty words—"Think twice before you speak." 7. Self restraint when tempted. 8. Self restraint under prov0cation—"Bear and forebear." 9. Rule your own spirit.

Answer 2

It's a idiom.

I don't think it is. An idiom is a phrase whose meaning is not apparent from the literal meaning of the words:

to bear OED

13a. transitive. To suffer (pain, hardship, or adversity) without being overcome or overwhelmed; to endure or resist (something) without giving in; to withstand; to cope with.

1611 Bible (King James) Gen. iv. 13 My punishment is greater then I can bear.

to forbear OED

8c. intransitive (or absol.) To be patient or forbearing; to show forbearance. Const. with.

The proverbial phrase to bear and forbear was originally transitive: 1340 Ayenbite (1866) 148 Þanne þe guode man..bereþ and uorbereþ alneway þe foles. [For the good man always bears and forbears fools].

a1616 W. Shakespeare Two Gentlemen of Verona (1623) v. iv. 27 Love, lend me patience to forbeare a while.

1725 W. Broome in A. Pope et al. tr. Homer Odyssey I. ii. 247 With patience I forbear.

1852 H. B. Stowe Uncle Tom's Cabin I. xv. 231 She..forebore with his failings.

to bear an forbear -> to tolerate and have patience