Is there a word to describe how person 1 is behaving when they try to assure person 2 that person 1 will be okay if person 2 does something when person 1 really won't be okay? Like for instance, Jill tells Jack it's okay if he takes Sue to the fair instead of her; however, Jill would really prefer it if Jack took her instead of Sue.
In this circumstance, Jack is wanting to find out if Jill will be upset if he takes his cousin to the fair instead of her.
Because Jill doesn't want to seem too controlling, she tells Jack that it's okay that he takes Sue instead of her, even though she had been looking forward to going to the fair with him for weeks.
Secretly, Jill is disappointed or saddened because of Jacks decision.