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Lately, I have been working on my SOP for university admissions. Here is one sentence which seems correct to my knowledge but, I have a feeling that something's missing. Any help in reframing or correcting it would be appreciated.

"At Stanford, the range of courses available in subject areas of information theory, signal, image, and video processing will not only provide me the adequate mathematical and computer skills but will also train me well in niche areas of communications and networking with their extensive list of electives"

Thanks in advance.

closed as off-topic by andy256, tchrist, FumbleFingers, Drew, choster Dec 11 '14 at 3:44

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  • Welcome to EL&U. Please note that this is not a proofreading service, though we can assist you if you can identify a specific question or problem relating to grammar or usage. I encourage you to take the site tour and review the help center for further guidance. – choster Dec 11 '14 at 3:44
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It's largely correct, but (as you noted) it can be improved. I would rewrite it as follows: "The range of courses available at Stanford pertaining to information theory, signal, image, and video processing will not only equip me with adequate mathematical and computer skills, but will also train me well in niche areas of communications and networking."

I don't know what signal and image refer to in this context, so you may be trying to say something like "information theory, and signal, image, and video processing" for all I know.

Best of luck with your applications!

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"At Stanford, the range of courses available in the subject areas of information theory, signal, image, and video processing will not only provide me the adequate mathematical and computer skills but also train me well in niche areas of communications and networking with their extensive list of electives"

I knocked off the second 'will', and added 'the' before 'subject'. I think it sounds better now!

Alternately, consider rephrasing by removing the entire not only ... but also construct. I see it in a lot of SOPs and its beginning to wear me down!

Anees

  • Oh, thanks for the info, never imagined it would be that common! – Diabolix Dec 10 '14 at 9:24

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