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Can I change the sentence (A) to (B)?

(A) The more genuine he feels he can be with you, the more he’ll be free to express his vulnerability and the stronger he will become.

(B) As he feels he can be more genuine with you, he'll be free to more express his vulnerability and he will become stronger.

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  • In both cases, I'd suggest "he'll be" should be "he'll feel". Or, if you're trying to imply that the feeling forces an action, change it to "he'll freely express".
    – SRM
    Commented Apr 5, 2017 at 6:31
  • he'll be free to more express... -> he'll be free to express more of his vulnerability...
    – Olavi Sau
    Commented Apr 5, 2017 at 6:59

1 Answer 1

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I don't read the sentences as completely equivalent, the sentence (A) expresses a dependence on how genuine he feels he can be and both vulnerability and strength, while sentence (B) expresses a relation between vulnerability more clearly than it does to strength.

I read the first sentence as ability to be more genuine = more vulnerability + more strength.

The second sentence as ability to be more genuine = more vulnerability + he will take singular action to be stronger.

If you would want to imply the same meaning, I would use:

As he feels that he can be more genuine with you, he'll be free to express more of his vulnerability and will become stronger because of it.

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