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I'm cannot figure out how to express a sentence I am writing. I want to tell my school they should have received my transcript since another school has and I ordered for both schools at the same time.

Here's how it goes.

The transcript was ordered awhile ago and another institute for which I ordered a transcript at the same time has received it last Thursday.

The sentence sounds incorrect, lengthy, and confusing. I'm not against splitting it into two simpler ones. I'm curious as to how one could write it beautifully.

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  • I'm not sure I understand your situation. Are you potentially interested in transferring to one of two new schools and you want to tell your current school that one of these potential new schools has received a transcript but the other has not?
    – Shoe
    Feb 7, 2019 at 9:29
  • [The transcript was ordered on the 11th inst; another institute for which I ordered a transcript on the same day received their copy last Thursday.] Nov 4, 2019 at 13:00

2 Answers 2

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It's fine, though a bit stilted (and "awhile" is an adverb: you mean "a while").

More normal would be "another institute I ordered a transcript for at the same time". But I don't think you can do it "beautifully" in a single sentence because of the the amount of information you want to get into that clause.

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The sentence technically is grammatically correct, although you're right, it does sound a bit confusing. This is likely due to the amount of information you're trying to condense into that single sentence.

You could split up the sentence, and say "I had ordered the transcript a while ago. Another institute already received it last Thursday".

Or, you could keep it in the same sentence but reword it as "The transcript was ordered a while ago, and another institute already received it last Thursday".

In a general case, don't re-reference a subject you've already discussed earlier in the sentence. In this example, you already said "The transcript was ordered a while ago", and if you're continuing in the same sentence it is implicit that when you are referencing another institute it is on the matter of the transcript.

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