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I’m writing a book where in the beginning, we’re introduced to the couple by a conversation they’re having. I’m wondering how I can phrase it correctly?

"It's like I don't even know you anymore, Warren! You talk about doing big things, but when push comes to shove, you always find a way to let people down... and I'm tired of being let down. I love you Warren, I do. But I'm just not sure I want to be let down anymore. You're not the same person." [said Nastia at the dinner table].

I just don’t feel like it makes sense to start a new sentence with said. What are some suggestions?

  • Donlt use “saids” at all. “I love you too Nastia (that establishes her as the speaker) , but...” then have them say something else to put them at the dinner table “is that why you made this elaborate meal, to tell me you want a divorce?” – Jim Aug 7 '15 at 14:49
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    This seems like asking for writing advice though and probably needs to be closed or migrated. – Jim Aug 7 '15 at 14:52
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Instead of using "said Nastia", you could include a different action. By placing it in the same paragraph as the quote, it's implied that the speaker is the one acting.

Example:

"You're not the same person." Nastia folded her napkin neatly and stared at her untouched plate.

  • But thinking of that, how would I continue her dialogue? Would I just put the quotes back up? That's the tricky part for me. I'm used to writing screenplays, so the formatting was very different. – Mike Kuplevatsky Aug 7 '15 at 14:33
  • Monologue: yes. Dialogue new paragraph and then open quotes. – Hugh Aug 7 '15 at 14:36
  • Wouldn't the reader get confused as to who is speaking though? How would I end what she has to say? Always by an action? It's a bit tricky for me, I used to love writing but stopped years ago. – Mike Kuplevatsky Aug 7 '15 at 14:38
  • 'Voicing' is the technique of fleshing out a character through vocabulary and phraseology. Voicing can be used to distinguish the two. – Hugh Aug 7 '15 at 16:45

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