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I'm wondering if the following sentence is correct:

In his PhD defense, he demonstrated (his) improved results.

Also, should we use the determiner "his" here? What I am trying to convey is that he did a demo about his research and showed the results that had been achieved.

Thanks,

L

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  • Did he obtain the same results (his findings were similar to someone else's, etc.) or actually get improved results? I think you might need to rephrase your sentence.
    – anongoodnurse
    Commented Nov 23, 2014 at 7:14
  • Actually, he got improved results.
    – LuckyDarcy
    Commented Nov 23, 2014 at 7:25

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There is nothing wrong with either sentence. However, the inclusion of his identifies whose the results are that he presented.

He presented improved results — could be anyone’s (including his)
He presented his improved results — the results are results only he obtained

What is not clear is what his results are an improvement upon. A previous set of his own results? Or results someone else had obtained? This information could be provided by context, or you may need to make it explicit.

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This is the sentence with the closest meaning per my understanding:

During his PhD defense, he presented the improved results (of/for some theory/phenomenon/process/etc) obtained in his dissertation.

If you want to keep your version, I still suggest changing in to during and not having his, because it's not his results that he shows, it is the results of his work.

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  • Hi Arsen, thanks for your answer. It makes perfect sense not to use "his" here and "presented" is the exact word I was looking for. However, I'm not sure about changing "in his PhD defense" to "during his PhD defense". Could you shed more light on that, thanks!
    – LuckyDarcy
    Commented Nov 23, 2014 at 7:37

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