I'm wondering if the following sentence is correct:
In his PhD defense, he demonstrated (his) improved results.
Also, should we use the determiner "his" here? What I am trying to convey is that he did a demo about his research and showed the results that had been achieved.
Thanks,
L
There is nothing wrong with either sentence. However, the inclusion of his identifies whose the results are that he presented.
He presented improved results — could be anyone’s (including his)
He presented his improved results — the results are results only he obtained
What is not clear is what his results are an improvement upon. A previous set of his own results? Or results someone else had obtained? This information could be provided by context, or you may need to make it explicit.
This is the sentence with the closest meaning per my understanding:
During his PhD defense, he presented the improved results (of/for some theory/phenomenon/process/etc) obtained in his dissertation.
If you want to keep your version, I still suggest changing in to during and not having his, because it's not his results that he shows, it is the results of his work.
