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I don't clearly understand the meaning of "was never meant to be" in sentences like this:

"I was never meant to be your friend."

Can someone explain it to me?

For the example in content, someone said this after having a falling out with another person who believed they were friends (because they often spend time together for work-related purposes).

And just to be sure, is that [I was never meant to be your friend] grammatically correct?

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    People say 'This was meant to happen' to express the idea that God, Fate, however you like to express it, intended it to be so. The two people were 'thrown together' by work but one of them thinks they were not destined to become friends.
    – Kate Bunting
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 7:18
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    It's grammatically correct. Is there a reason your think it might not be?
    – nnnnnn
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 8:21
  • Pretty much this exact example is in Merriam-Webster. If you're learning English I suggest you find a good dictionary of idioms, or some websites to consult: see here.
    – Stuart F
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 16:49

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"I was never meant to be your friend."

Here, "meant" has the meaning of "intended".

OED mean, v.1

I. To intend.

1.b. transitive. With infinitive as object: to intend [...] to do something.

1895 Sir A. Kekewich in Law Times Rep. 73 663/2 We must not jump to the conclusion that the Legislature meant to interfere with contracts.

1941 J. Rhys Let. 1 Mar. (1984) 35 I didn't mean to be rude last Wednesday.

You will note that the sentence is in the passive and that the agent is unspoken. The agent is "fate" (or something similar).

"I was never meant to be your friend." -> "I was never intended by fate to be your friend."

In the active:

Fate never intended that I should be your friend.

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  • Hello, I have a question. If the content is taken out, can the past tense form of sentence (was never meant to be) be interpreted as them becoming friends in the end (present time)? There's an answer below from other user that seem to say so.
    – Dearyme
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 21:29
  • No. The "was" refers to "fate's" earlier decision. I don't understand the later answer.
    – Greybeard
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 22:01
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This is an idiomatic expression commonly used:

somebody was never meant for something/to be something

used to say that someone is not at all suitable for a particular job or activity (Longman)

In this case, the author of your sentence is confirmed by that fall-out that he is not compatible with the other person in order to form a friendship. The hint to fate is ironic. It is as if this person said:

I never thought we could be friends, and this fall-out has just proved it.

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It means that in theory, under normal circumstances, we would never have been friends. (e.g. Two very different people, two people from different walks of life, two people with very different belief systems.)

However, against the odds, we became friends.

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  • Hello, I'm a bit confused here. Does that sentence imply that they became friends in the end?
    – Dearyme
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 21:01
  • Could you explain further? This is not an interpretation I can see.
    – Greybeard
    Commented Apr 9, 2023 at 22:00
  • @Greybeard, I see your answer above and I think what I'm saying is similar. For example: "We were never meant to be lovers." What was the mechanism that fate used? They were made as 2 people from very different walks of life / societies - they were never meant to be together.
    – Daniel Gee
    Commented Apr 13, 2023 at 10:24
  • @Dearyme, yes, it does.
    – Daniel Gee
    Commented Apr 13, 2023 at 10:48
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It means that it was unlikely to happen, the two people were very different, or they come from completely different environments, or maybe their set of beliefs was different. However, the friendship did happen, against the odds, until one person figured out that it wasn't really working out because it wasn't meant to be in the first place.

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