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So we have:

  • Where-Nowhere
  • When-Never(/Nowhen)
  • Who-Nobody
  • What-Nothing

Why can't we also have "nohow" and "nowhy"?

"No reason" works to some extent, but "nohow" isn't really replaceable in a concise manner, to my knowledge.

The real question here is not how to say it otherwise, but why it would be horribly wrong to use it. And would it?

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    Of potentially related interest: Why is “elsewhen” not a proper word?
    – choster
    Commented Mar 18, 2021 at 13:37
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    Candidate words accepted into the lexus have to jump certain hurdles before wordness is accepted by most. One is clarity of meaning; one is being used and understood correctly by a reasonable number of Anglophones. 'Why' hereabouts (assuming your assertion is correct) probably has no better answer than 'that's the way Anglophones vote'.
    – Edwin Ashworth
    Commented Jun 20, 2022 at 15:57

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I have heard "nohow" but have not heard "nowhen". My dictionary has "nohow", with two meanings, one labeled "US" the other labeled "archaic"

nohow ADVERB
1 (US) Used, especially in uneducated speech, to emphasize a negative.
‘they never executes nobody nohow’

2 (archaic) Not attractive, well, or in good order.
LEXICO

The answer to "why are they not real words?" is they have been used rarely or never. But if you like "nowhy", go ahead and use it yourself. Maybe it will catch on!

Think of "nohow" as a negative form of "anyhow". In fact I think all of your words are like that:

  • Anywhre-Nowhere
  • *Anywhen-Nowhen
  • Anybody-Nobody
  • Anything-Nothing
  • Anyhow-Nohow

I said I have not seen "nowhen". Well, maybe I have seen it (along with "anywhen") in time-travel science fiction.

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    In Through the Looking-Glass, Lewis Carroll has Tweedledum say 'Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, nohow!' But I don't think I've ever come across nowhen.
    – Kate Bunting
    Commented Apr 6, 2020 at 13:38
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    "Nobody can see the Great Oz. Not nobody, not nohow!"
    – Juhasz
    Commented Apr 6, 2020 at 16:54
  • Ha ha, whenever I have said uneducated speech around here, everyone jumps on the PC wagon. :)
    – Lambie
    Commented Jun 20, 2022 at 16:29
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I just happened to stumble upon "nowhy" in The House by the Churchyard by J. Sheridan LeFanu (1863):

‘You must not talk that way, Devereux,’ [Puddock] said, still a good deal more dismayed by his looks than his words. ‘Why are you so troubled with vapours and blue devils?’

‘Nowhy!’ said Devereux, with a grim smile.

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