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Which one is correct?

  1. They are accustomed to not talking at meals.

or

  1. They are accustomed not to talking at meals.

I'm inclined to think it's the first one, as we normally expect a to after be accustomed in the same way we expect an in after be interested.

So what do you guys think? Thank you!

2 Answers 2

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The construction of "to be accustomed to not talking" sounds awkward. This is because the verb "to be accustomed to" is a very quirky and awkward verb to employ, and requires a gerund (the noun form of the secondary verb, such as "walking", "talking" etc.). It is awkward when used in the negative.

If the verb were almost any other verb, for example "prefer", we find that both the negative and the affirmative forms of the verb are comfortable.

In formal English, the infinitive form of the verb must not be split. The infinitive form of the verb "glance" is "to glance". In other words, "to glance quickly" is correct, but "to quickly glance" is not.

"They preferred to talk at meals." No problem. "They preferred not to talk at meals." No problem. "They preferred to not talk at meals." Incorrect.

So, it is actually the usage of "be accustomed to" which presents the problem.

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  • The use of accustomed to is fine, it is the not talking which makes it sound awkward (if, indeed, you think it does sound awkward). Consider these alternatives: "They are accustomed to refraining from speech at mealtimes"; "They are accustomed to taking their meals in silence"; "They are accustomed to taking their meals without talking". All these suggest that the people actively avoid speech as they eat. Other uses of accustomed to suggest that they put up with things they cannot change as in "They are accustomed to being interrupted at their meals".
    – BoldBen
    Commented Feb 11, 2017 at 14:13
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In light of formal English, neither of them is correct.

  1. Often, when preceded by not, the English choose instead to use the word speaking. Generally, the verb talking is not used. Spoke and speaking are always preferred with talk rarely being used.

  2. The grammar here is off. Accustomed and talking do not match in their tenses.

Here are some correct formal alternatives;

  1. They are accustomed to not speak at the meals.
  2. They are accustomed not to speak to at the meals.
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  • 1
    Unfortunately this is just completely wrong.
    – Jim
    Commented Feb 11, 2017 at 4:09
  • Please, do elaborate.
    – Lionel
    Commented Feb 11, 2017 at 4:13

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