Difference between "grudge" and "resentment"

Question

There are various entries for both but for one, Merriam-Webster says that resentment is "a feeling of anger or displeasure about someone or something unfair." For the second word, it says "a strong feeling of anger toward someone that lasts for a long time."

My question is, does "unfairness" play a role in holding a grudge also? And secondly, is the main difference between the two the matter of time or also intensity?

For instance, let's say a neighbor makes noises at night, I might be angry and if I feel it's unfair that they do that and I can't or that the building manager doesn't care, I assume that's resentment. But what makes it a grudge? Is it related to it happening often? To my resentment being real intense and not being able to forgive them?

Thanks.

Answer 1

You can think of grudge as a hypernym of resentment.
A grudge need not be the result of (perceived) unfairness; it can just result from (violation of) the holder's vested interests irrespective of the fairness involved. Also, a grudge is always directed towards people (I haven't seen otherwise).
A resentment on the other hand (as you said) results from a perceived unfairness. A resentment, unlike a grudge, can be directed towards concepts (like policies and laws) in addition to people.

Definitions from M-W to conclude:

grudge noun

: a strong feeling of anger toward someone that lasts for a long time

He has nursed a grudge against his former boss for years.

resentment noun

: a feeling of anger or displeasure about someone or something unfair

He expressed his resentment of the new policies.

Note from the examples:
The grudge does not necessarily mean that the boss was unfair.
The resentment is directed at policies.

Answer 2

Resentment we think of as something that is felt in passing; however, one can "resent the fact that (whatever)", and that would be a single ongoing resentment. But when we "hold a grudge" against someone, this implies not just the resentment itself, but also an attitude that goes with it --i.e., viewing all of that person's actions as offensive, being unwilling to be amicable towards them, possibly taking retaliatory actions, etc. Mostly in a passive aggressive way, otherwise it's a feud lol. We resent things all the time, but generally let them go; if we hold onto the offense and our reaction to it, then we are holding a grudge.

Answer 3

A grudge may be seen to be more active than resentment, i.e. generating hostile behavior.

You can use "a" in front of grudge, and vague quantity words like "some" in front of resentment. And different verbs might be used with them, i.e. "harbors" is a little less likely to be used with grudge (n-gram data).

He has a grudge against me.

He bears a grudge against me.

He harbors resentment toward me.

He has some resentment toward me.

He bears some resentment toward me.

Its also more natural to say a grudge is "against" someone, but resentment is "toward" them.

Well, my own impression is that "resentment toward" is the most natural. Google n-gram shows that "resentment against" has been very popular in books but losing popularity over time leading to it almost colliding with "resentment toward" around 2000.

See n-gram for resentment against vs resentment toward

See n-gram for grudge against vs grudge toward

Answer 4

The online Oxford dictionaries site defines "grudge" as "a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury..." Resentment is listed as a synonym. The site defines resentment as "bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly". Implicit in these definitions is, I think, this distinction: resentment may spring from generalized causes (always being "less than" someone in academics or sports, not being part of an envied clique, being ignored or bypassed, and so forth); a "grudge" is the result of a specific incident or offense on the part of another.