2

This is the sentence I am writing:

Hearing about this school's dynamic extracurricular activities since I was a child from my father, an alumni, has also excited me about attending your college.

My question is about the "since I was a child" part. Do I need to put commas so that the sentence becomes

"Hearing about this school's dynamic extracurricular activities, since I was a child, from my father, an alumni, has also excited me about attending your college."

2
  • Perhaps you should provide a definition of a run-on sentence and then describe how you see this sentence fitting that criteria.
    – Jim
    Commented Dec 28, 2020 at 2:57
  • 2
    I've seen plurals used to avoid specifying someone's gender, but in the case of your father, you've already specified his gender, so you might as well use the singular "alumnus". (Perhaps @Jim was trying to give a hint about that by using "criteria" instead of "criterion".) Commented Dec 28, 2020 at 4:15

1 Answer 1

1

It sounds like this would break apart at its natural joints. Keeping it as one long over-explained thought, bringing in the source of each thought, and what they mean to you with regard to going to school there, and how exciting it would be... Well you get the idea. Separate the ideas and make each one worthy of inclusion. If you can't then leave it out. There are plenty more.

"I have been hearing about your school since I was a child. My Father, an alumni, has told me much/all about your dynamic extracurricular activities. This has excited me about attending your college."

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .