I just told my life's story to someone I've known for only two days, but with whom we shared an instant, platonic connection.

I know that we in this sentence "should" be I, that this phrasing is correct if the group I belong to collectively felt a connection to her. However, I want to take a little poetic license in order to emphasize that the sharing was two-way.

Yes, sharing already is two-way, but I feel that in the "correct" sentence, using I shared, feels mono-directional; to me it feels like saying that I feel this connection to her, but that it may not be shared--or at least not necessarily as strongly felt--by her.

Is there a better way to word my phrase (or sentence)--that may or may not bend the rules--that emphasizes the bi-directionality of the connection but which is less awkward than "with whom we shared"?

1 Answer 1


'But' is a coordinator used to connect two clauses on the same structural level. 'Whom' is a relative used to connect an antecedent with an subordinate clause that serves to specify. If we keep the 'but', then 'whom' should be swapped with 'she' for another indepedent clause. So you could say, '' but she and I shared an instant, platonic connection.'' That way it also feels like the connection was two-directional, although this might not sound as poetic. If I am wrong about the grammar, do let me know.

  • Right on both accounts: better grammatically and not as poetic.
    – dx_over_dt
    Aug 29, 2020 at 19:30
  • "I just told my life's story to someone I've known for only two days, but felt an instant, platonic connection with." Does this pass muster with you? @dx_over_dt
    – user392935
    Aug 29, 2020 at 19:43
  • 1
    @Stockfish That was, in fact, my original wording. I know it's technically correct now, I still prefer not to end sentences with prepositions in my writing.
    – dx_over_dt
    Aug 29, 2020 at 19:45

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