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In Midnight Cowboy, Dustin Hoffman's character (Ratso Rizzo) says:

"You can't scratch yourself without getting a bellybutton up the old kazoo there."

This was when he was talking about going to Florida, Miami Beach, and the ladies there. He was talking to a handsome man (Jon Voight), who was trying to be a hustler in New York but could not succeed.

Clearly I don't know the meaning of scratching or bellybutton, or how they can be related to each other, or I cannot find the logic by which to understand this sentence using my current knowledge of English.

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    I'm putting this as a comment rather than an answer, because I'm not entirely sure how the line can be paraphrased, but I'll offer this in helping understand the general gist. This book books.google.co.uk/… (and it is the only source which does so) gives the line as "You can't scratch yourself without you brush against a bare belly button". Meaning, broadly: which ever way you turn you brush up against a woman in a bikini (the line is preceded by one about the beaches of Miami having lots of women on them).
    – Spagirl
    Commented May 30, 2016 at 12:02
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    As per Spagirl's clarification, it means "Florida's beaches have an overabundance of women in bikinis", expressed in casually humorous vulgar comfort slang. "Up the old kazoo" is the same as "out/up the kazoo/gazoo/wazoo/ass", "assload", or "buttload", all of which mean: plenty, a lot, etc.
    – agc
    Commented May 31, 2016 at 4:39
  • Compare "You can't scratch yourself" with "You can't swing a cat"...
    – Matt Smith
    Commented Oct 19, 2016 at 20:33
  • That line never did make much sense. I suspect it was an ad hoc invention by the script writer, keeping in mind that Rizzo was something of a buffoon.
    – Hot Licks
    Commented Oct 25, 2016 at 12:04

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"You can't scratch yourself without getting a bellybutton up the old kazoo there." is "metaphorical slang". The picture behind is: If you want to scratch yourself, you have to move. If you do so, some part of your body will inevitably touch at least one body part of someone else. That is only the case if many people are around you. Bellybutton and kazoo as body parts represent the respective whole bodies. In the context of the intention of his friend to be a hustler, what Rico wants to say is probably "There are so many girls around that you can't fail".

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    Do you have any source for this explanation? The comments below the question seem to say something different.
    – herisson
    Commented Aug 23, 2016 at 17:50
  • @suməlic - I don't see the big contradiction. Except that the comment writers couldn't be bothered to write Answers.
    – aparente001
    Commented Nov 24, 2016 at 7:18

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