You are correct. It's absurd. That's what comes from paying attention to official grammar sources.
You are dealing here with grammar terms inherited without thought from different languages.
As William Hazlitt put it, in his 1829 English Grammar,
"Scholars who have made and taught from English grammars were previously
and systematically initiated in the Greek and Latin tongues, so that
they have, without deigning to notice the difference, taken the rules
of the latter and applied them indiscriminately and dogmatically to the
So, Present Perfect is not a tense, nor is Past Perfect or Future Perfect. English only has two tenses.
What English has instead are Constructions, which are composed of auxiliaries and other words.
the Progressive construction: be followed by the -ing participle of the next verb.
The progressive occurs only with semantically active verbs like run, not stative ones like own.
- I'm enjoying my vacation. They're running right now. *He's owning that house.
Any construction beginning with an inflectable auxiliary verb can occur in either tense:
- I was enjoying my vacation. They were running yesterday. *He was owning that house.
the Modal construction: a modal auxiliary verb followed by the infinitive of the next verb.
All modals can refer to past, present, or future; but will is often wrongly called "future tense".
- I'd (I would) enjoy a vacation. They can't run tomorrow. *He'll (He will) own that house.
In fact, modals can't be inflected for anything, and therefore aren't any tense at all.
- *I musted go yesterday. *They are maying do that. *I want to can do that.
There are lots more constructions. Most relevantly, there is
- the Perfect construction: have followed by the perfect participle of the next verb.
The perfect is used in four different ways (the last is rather idiomatic), depending on context.
Constructions can be combined, of course. So we can have perfect and progressive in either past or present tense of the auxiliary, but terms like "past perfect progressive" are not single constructions, let alone tenses. There are hundreds if not thousands of English constructions, so the combinations get rather complex. Better not to think of them as being like Russian inflections.