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Someone who acts cold and impassive to mask the fact that they are actually hurt.

I've been trying to come up with the word for hours, but came up with nothing.

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Stiff upper lip

The term is often used to describe the British attitude of not showing emotion, but can be applied to all circumstances.

From Wikipedia:

One who has a stiff upper lip displays fortitude in the face of adversity, or exercises great self-restraint in the expression of emotion

eg.

John had just been dumped by his girlfriend Sally. He was deeply upset, but as was his culture he maintained a stiff upper lip and did not let this show.

This example demonstrates the a stiff upper lip as a cultural expression. It could be used more strategically.

"You must maintain a stiff upper lip when negotiating with them! If they see how much you care about this issue, they'll use it to extort more money from you."

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Such a person can be called stoic

A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.

Also consider:

put a brave (or bold) face on something

Act as if something unpleasant is not as bad as it really is:

he was putting a brave face on it but she knew he was shattered

The oxford entry of shell has another phrase you could use

[singular] the outer layer of somebody’s personality; how they seem to be or feel

She had developed a shell of indifference.

This may or may not imply you feel different inside. You may have to explicitly state it.

He had a shell of impassiveness, but he was actually hurting.

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    Tushar, I think the first misses on the element of a "pose" of not caring. The true Stoic is inner-directed, does not give a monkey's for the opinions of others, and is doing this for himself. Yeah, I know that's upper-case, but even so.
    – David Pugh
    Commented May 25, 2015 at 7:53
  • @DavidPugh: Agreed. Thanks for pushing me for a better alternative. See edit.
    – Tushar Raj
    Commented May 25, 2015 at 7:56
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There may not be a single word for this idea, likely because the person who puts up this façade is not always "cold and impassive to mask hurt".

My suggested word is "unresponsive", to indicate that nothing will provoke a reaction. Another word, as long as the intention is clear, is "unfeeling". Both words are used to convey a choice in response or feeling, rather than an inability.

The rest of the store could hear the husband's verbal abuse, their heads swiveling to watch the couple pass; but his wife was determined to remain unresponsive, just pushing the cart forward without seeing anything.

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I would say Poker Face is the best way to describe a person who masks the fact that he is hurt and acts cold or emotionless.

poker face
noun
noun: poker face; plural noun: poker faces

an impassive expression that hides one's true feelings.

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Someone who masks or 'switches off' feelings of hurt and disappointment is
emotionally withdrawn.

It is a coping mechanism used by the individual to avoid exposing their vulnerability and to take control of the situation.

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  • 'Emotionally withdrawn' suggests a lack a of emotional engagement by the subject. The context in question is where there is a high level of emotional engagement, but where the subject masks it.
    – dwjohnston
    Commented May 25, 2015 at 23:23
  • eg. 'I had become emotionally withdrawn from my husband. He tried to ask me what was wrong, but I did not even care to have the conversation with him'.
    – dwjohnston
    Commented May 25, 2015 at 23:26
  • Thank you for your comments. In hindsight, "emotional withdrawal" has been adopted as a psychological term, so may not be appropriate in the context given by the OP. However, to 'withdraw' means to remove or take away from a particular position. It does mean that something ceases to exist.,
    – Julie Carter
    Commented May 25, 2015 at 23:51

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