My sons have a good friend called Ben. I thought I could say, " My sons love to be with Ben". But when I said it to his mother, she replied to me by saying, "Ben also loves being with them as well." Can't we say "love to be with" or are both "love to be with" and "love being with" correct? Is there any difference between these two?
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Both are fine. It sounds as though Ben's mother was simply reciprocating the compliment.– 568mlCommented May 21, 2014 at 15:05
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4 Answers
You can say both but the nuances are a bit different because of the slightly different meanings. We usually use like to do something when we mean that we like the effect of doing it, or we think it is a good idea to do this thing because of its wider effects:
- I like to go to the dentist if my filling needs replacing.
This would imply that it's a sensible thing to do. In contrast, we usually use like doing something when we find the experience itself pleasurable or enjoyable. Consider this version of the sentence:
- I like going to the dentist if my filling needs replacing.
This would tend to imply that you were a bit of a masochist! Nonetheless, most of the time there will be little discernible difference in everyday speech. Both of your comments to each other were very complimentary!
answered May 21, 2014 at 18:36
To be with can have connotations of an intimate nature (and is often used as a euphemism), whereas being with is taken at face value.
" Love to" implies that you like the idea of something, while " love ing" means that you enjoy doing it, it's really happening to you. I think she just rephrased what you had said, you can use either one.
Both are acceptable common usage. If there is a subtle difference, I'd say that "I love to be with X" refers more to an ongoing general state of existence, before/during/after the time spent; while "I love being with X" refers to my enjoyment of the specific instances of spending time with X. BTW don't worry about modifying your grammar according to Ben's mother's model, as there is a potential redundancy in her reply "Ben ALSO loves being with them AS WELL."
