Oh the irony...

Would you mind if I unaccepted to allow for other answers? I would reaccept your answer after a couple days.

@Kris - Could you elaborate? I for my part cannot discern a difference in meaning between the two.

I noticed that someone voted to close this as it is "Not a real question". Just to reiterate, the question is "Are 'if I did not want' and 'if I wanted' the same in meaning", and "Is there a subtle difference between them."

@Robusto - I did, but what I'm describing isn't really a habit. What I'm describing involuntarily repeats, regardless of the wish of the person it affects, and it doesn't necessarily benefit said person. For example, in the above situation, I don't want to go to sleep really late, but I have to because I did it the previous night.