What do you tell a girl who shies away from expressing her feelings and avoids saying what you expect her to?
asked Jun 17, 2015 at 10:28
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2This question is fine here, and I hope you get some good answers. However, I think you might also be interested in ELU's sister site, English Language Learners. You can read more about the two sites here, and decide where you might want to ask your next question.– J.R.Commented Jun 17, 2015 at 10:47
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7What do you mean by “avoids saying what you expect her [to]”? What do you in general ‘expect’ a girl to say that this one doesn’t?– Janus Bahs JacquetCommented Jun 17, 2015 at 10:51
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3I think you mean what do you call ... To tell a girl something is to give her something as information.– StoneyB on hiatusCommented Jun 17, 2015 at 11:10
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6It’s quite possible that you’re completely misreading this coy young woman’s feelings for and message to you.– Papa PouleCommented Jun 17, 2015 at 13:19
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1There is just no reason to believe you're not in command of the language and that you meant call instead of tell etc. Therefore, the answer is you just leave her be; people are not accountable to others about their feelings and need not be lectured about self-expression when this is in fact about scrutinizing someone else's intimacy for one's own interest. Thank you.– user98955Commented Jun 18, 2015 at 13:23
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5 Answers
(of a person or animal) extremely quiet or docile.
a shy or excluded person at a dance or party, especially a girl without a partner.
Shrinking violet/Modest violet
A person referred to as a shrinking violet is a timid or shy person.
Reserved
slow to reveal emotion or opinions.
Uncommunicative
unwilling to talk or impart information.
Source: Oxford Dictionaries
In a more general sense, you could use 'introvert', though this is not a specific term. Anyone who keeps things to himself and doesn't disclose his thoughts to many people is an 'introvert'.
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1Please cite your sources.– user98990Commented Jun 17, 2015 at 11:13
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3Feels like these should each be separate answers, but I'd go with "wallflower"/– SledCommented Jun 17, 2015 at 17:50
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I disagree about the introvert part, shyness is not always related to introversion– user89753Commented Jun 18, 2015 at 15:49
The adjective demure also describes such a woman:
(Of a woman or her behavior) reserved, modest, and shy:
a demure little wife who sits at home minding the house
[Oxford Dictionaries]
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Thank you everyone for commenting on my question. Yet, some misunderstood me and tried to correct me by suggesting "call" fot "tell"! I did mean "tell". I'm looking for an imperative expression not an adjective! Commented Jun 18, 2015 at 15:55
You could use
Not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily:
she was extremely reticent about her personal affairs
Synonyms include:
Modest or shy because of a lack of self-confidence:
(of a person or a remark they make) careful; not showing feelings or giving much information
(Of a person) reserved or uncommunicative in speech; saying little:
(Oxford)
answered Jun 17, 2015 at 10:51
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5Importantly, of these options, only guarded is neutral—the rest all have definite, negative connotations to them. Commented Jun 17, 2015 at 11:02
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2@JanusBahsJacquet personally, I would not consider taciturn to have a negative connotation. On the contrary, to me, guarded suggests that a person actively wishes to avoid conversation about some particular subject, which can be seen as obtuse or incriminating, whereas taciturn simply connotes that they are not an enthusiastic communicator. Commented Jun 17, 2015 at 23:15
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@OleksandrR. Yes, guarded suggests that you actively wish to avoid speaking about a subject—but it doesn’t necessarily imply that’s a bad thing. Being guarded about something is often wise. Taciturn has overtones of ‘sullen’ and ‘sulky’ to me; a quick survey of a few dictionaries doesn’t yield any definitions that include this aspect, though, so perhaps that’s just me. Commented Jun 17, 2015 at 23:21
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I would read a negative connotation into "guarded", but not any of the others. Commented Jun 18, 2015 at 1:35
Wallflower
informal a person who has no one to dance with or who feels shy, awkward, or excluded at a party.
Maybe also Buttoned-down
conservatively traditional or conventional; especially : adhering to conventional norms in dress and behavior
