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I'm trying to touch up this part, and wondering if the above could work as a metaphor.

This is my text right now:

“George, it's me, .... I can't connect with my money!” he fired while marching back and forth in his living room...

I don't like using back and forth right here, and wondering if it could work with -

... he fired while marching a trough up and down his living room (floor?)

I could use up and down anyway, but came up with this visual to go with the firing and wondering if it's too much, or if it sounds fine.

Could also be pacing up and down, and leave it alone...

TIA

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    As he wore a path in the rug pacing back and forth.
    – Hot Licks
    Commented Feb 19, 2015 at 0:28
  • 1
    pacing anxiously ... wearing a path, as Hot Licks suggests
    – user98990
    Commented Feb 19, 2015 at 1:08
  • Someone has to be the first to use a new metaphor. I find this quite creative and expressive.
    – Barmar
    Commented Feb 19, 2015 at 21:38

1 Answer 1

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I think one would march a trough into the floor or across a room. While down and trough have some natural affinity, up and trough do not.

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