It seems that "people like you" is almost always used as an insult (similar to "your kind"). e.g. A shop owner might say to an annoying customer that doesn't buy anything, "Go away, I don't have time to deal with people like you."
Can it be used in a polite sentence, or due to the associated negativity with the phrase, would it be better to use an alternate phrase?
Can it be used in a polite sentence, or due to the associated negativity with the phrase, would it be better to use an alternate phrase?
The phrase can be used in a polite way, as determined by context. When saying something positive or favorable to someone, and identifying that person as an example of others who share the same quality, people like you is perfectly polite and even complimentary. So, I may say, "Thank you for your post. People like you, who ask worthwhile, well-phrased questions, make participation in ELU a meaningful experience." Of course, the context in which the phrase is spoken, tone of voice, facial expression, etc., also help to mark the phrase as either positive or negative. The phrase itself, I take to be neutral. Nevertheless, to lessen the possibility of it being taken negatively when not meant so, a positive qualifier can always be added: splendid people like you, excellent people like you, hard-working, thoughtful, generous, etc.
The difficulty with the phrase is the distinguishing attribute - you. This smacks of emphasis on the otherness of the party addressed and those deemed to be similar. It creates a linguistic and emotional distance.
There are numerous examples of phrases that have a similar rejecting tone. The OP indicated your kind. Also, the phrases your type, your ilk and you people. Most importantly, you are not our kind, our people or folks like us.
If you are trying to convey a categorization that is neutral (or even complimentary), you generally need to add something beyond the you-ness. Consider
- people having your characteristics
- those sharing your background (or skills/talents/fine qualities)
- your fellow _____ (which can be kind or caustic, largely based on tone)
While context might make some of the you phrases acceptable or even friendly, more often than not they are intended, and will be taken to be somewhat hostile.
If the doorman (bouncer) at a nightclub says to two consecutive parties...
1: "People such as yourself/yourselves1 should go through that entrance"
2: "People like you should go through that entrance"
...you can assume the first, rather than the second, was being directed to the VIP entrance.
1 yourself if addressed to a "party of one".
You need to dress it up in kind of faux, grossly over generous compliment.
"Other esteemed members of society such as yourself"
"Men of healthy proportions like your good self"
You need to use a gratuitous, somewhat ironic compliment in order to compensate for the implied negativity of highlighting someone as a member of a group, unless such a highlight would be a compliment in and of itself:
"Are there any other people like you capable of doing this job?"
I'm with Brian Donovan (comment above) - the phrase is already neutral. eg: It's people like you who make this job worth doing or The world needs more people like you.
If you really want a variant, use a term that is a bit more specific: eg:
Teachers live for students like you, who show a real interest.
This dog/car/house was waiting for someone like you.
Using a less-common synonym will usually avoid the unwanted connotation.
In this case, I prefer "such as" to "like".
"People like you" ==> "People such as you".
Replacing "People" with "Folks", "Citizens", "Men", "Women", "Kids", and other more-specific nouns will also work.
You can also try:
Phrases with strong, pre-existing, and shared emotional connotations become clichés. Creativity in your language use will let you make stronger statements with less chance of falling into clichés.
But there's one catch: avoid getting too wordy or obscure when using alternatives. Even my own may be poor choices for different uses.
(My answer overlaps with several previous ones; I gratefully acknowledge their efforts.)
Your peers.
(The bouncer will love this.)
Your contemporaries:
contemporary noun plural noun: contemporaries: a person or thing living or existing at the same time as another. "he was a contemporary of Darwin" synonyms: peer, fellow; More a person of roughly the same age as another.
I've rarely heard it used in negative contexts and is very often used to describe academics or artists.
