Timeline for I have difficulty using long subject
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
9 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 28, 2015 at 3:35 | comment | added | Hot Licks | Your original sentence is basically correct and not all that awkward. The most glaring problem is that you say "under dynamic condition" rather than "under dynamic conditions" or some other equivalent phrase. | |
| May 1, 2015 at 15:03 | comment | added | Peter Shor | It seems that the relationship between luminance and pupil area under dynamic conditions isn't something you compute, but something you have to discover by experiment. So I would rethink the last verb in your sentence. Maybe "A formula is given for the relation between luminance ..." (or "will be", if you prefer the future tense). | |
| Apr 3, 2015 at 1:38 | comment | added | Kyung Yoo | Thank you, Andrew Leach and Janus Bahs Jacquet. As you anticipated, it is a sentence for scientific research so it is natural that you can't understand fully without background knowledge. Your advices were helpful. Thank you again :) | |
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:49 | answer | added | bobro | timeline score: -1 | |
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:47 | comment | added | Janus Bahs Jacquet | (Incidentally, I’m starting to doubt my statement that under is wrong as a preposition here. In sounds more natural and straightforward in my head, but thinking about it, under doesn’t actually sound wrong, either. And a bit of Googling reveals lots of hits for both “in dynamic conditions” and “under dynamic conditions”. So feel free to ignore that bit.) | |
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:31 | comment | added | Janus Bahs Jacquet | Apart from the fact that the phrase isn’t very idiomatic (wrong preposition, lacking plural), there’s nothing inherently wrong with your original sentence. Long subjects aren’t a problem, as long as they’re clear and easy to understand. I have no idea what exactly constitutes ‘dynamic conditions’ (whatever those are) for the ‘pupil area’ (whatever that is—do you mean the size of the pupil?), but I assume your readers will know more about this than I do. “The relation(ship) between luminance and pupil size in dynamic conditions will be computed” sounds perfectly fine to me. | |
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:17 | comment | added | Andrew Leach♦ | Sometimes, it's acceptable to use the active voice: "We compute the relationship between..." | |
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:15 | review | First posts | |||
| Apr 1, 2015 at 13:15 | |||||
| Apr 1, 2015 at 11:11 | history | asked | Kyung Yoo | CC BY-SA 3.0 |