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I was told the correct usage is for example:

"My wife and me" but I hear often "I and my wife" or "my wife and I".

Google gives 34M results for "My wife and I" and 909K results for "My wife and me" Which is the correct form and why?

It occurred to me that maybe it could depend on the rest of the phrase? (subject or object)

"My wife and I are eating an apple"

"You can see my wife and me in this picture"

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You're right that it depends on the rest of the phrase (subject or object):

  • "My wife and I are eating an apple" is correct because "my wife and I" is the subject of the sentence. You could replace "my wife and I" with "we".
  • "You can see my wife and me in this picture" is correct because "my wife and me" is the object of the sentence. You could replace "my wife and me" with "us".

You can often check this quickly by removing the other person from the sentence and see if it makes sense. For example:

Subject:

  • "You and I like apples". Removing "you and" gives "I like apples", which is correct.
  • "You and me like apples". Removing "you and" gives "me like apples", which is incorrect.

Object:

  • "John gave the apple to you and me". Removing "you and" gives "John gave the apple to me", which is correct.
  • "John gave the apple to you and I". Removing "you and" gives "John gave the apple to I", which is incorrect.
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    I have never known such an easy way to think about it!
    – JD Isaacks
    Dec 21, 2010 at 14:18
  • There's another variation "<somebody> and myself" for when the subject is "I" and the phrase occurs as the object. For example, "During tax season, I tend to drive my wife and myself crazy". Note: In common usage, "and myself" is often used incorrectly when "and I" or "and me" should be used instead.
    – Mitch Schwartz
    Dec 21, 2010 at 16:17
  • +100 This simple mistake makes me cringe whenever I hear it in popular music. I do realize that pop is not exactly the epitome of proper expression, but for some reason this always stands out to me.
    – Marcin
    Dec 21, 2010 at 19:17

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