A colleague asked to check in with me every couple of weeks. I would like to respond that it would be wonderful if they checked in ever so often. But, I don't believe that sounds correct. How should I phrase it?
Ever so is a rather archaic way of indicating degree, as in "I like picnics ever so much!" It is something you might hear Dorothy say to the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
If you hear it used to mean every so, the speaker is probably dropping the -y from the end of every. What you're hearing is probably:
It'd be wonderful if they checked in ever' so often.
I've heard the -y elided in this way in the southern and western regions of the U.S.
ever so often
The phrase ever so simply means very. When used with often, it emphasizes the frequency slightly more than very does. Compare:
"He checked in very often."
"He checked in ever so often."
In the second example, the speaker subtly indicates his/her slight irritation or delight in the fact that "he" visited/called/stopped by to see the speaker so frequently.
every so often
This phrase means occasionally. It can be easily substituted with from time to time, sometimes or every now and then. Examples:
He takes a trip to London every so often.
I wish I could see him every day, not just every so often.
Every so often is more commonly used, I think, though I have this hunch that the meaning is sometimes confused with very often, which is just the opposite. Your sentence probably did not sound correct to your ears because one rarely hears ever so often these days, save in literary and poetic contexts. To analyze your response a bit further:
- If you are happy with the frequency of a fortnightly check-in, then I think the proper response should be:
It would be wonderful if you checked in every so often.
- If, perhaps, you would prefer a more regular check-in (say, every couple days, for instance), then you might respond thus:
That's great, but it would be wonderful if you checked in ever so often.
Honestly, since your chief aim is to communicate, I would suggest you avoid ambiguity. Hence, I would recommend using every so often or, better, another adverb that clearly expresses your thoughts.
NB: I confirmed my definitions with the New Oxford American Dictionary, 2nd Edition (installed on my mac) and the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary.