I'm searching for an American English phrase that is the most readily equivalent to the British expression bog standard (which means, as I understand, plain, ordinary or unremarkable).
I'm tempted to use run of the mill or out of the box but these don't really have quite the same flavor as bog standard.
No need for an etymology lesson, here. But I would appreciate any synonymous phrasings, especially for those with a bit more humorous flair.
For to provide context as to assist I present the usage:
My bog standard stepmother, Rose, in her inaugural summer as my de facto parent made it known with little uncertainty that the absolute last thing she wanted while school was out of session was for me to be within 50 miles of her teenage daughter.
In this case I'm intending bog standard to mean something of standard issue; I'm trying to say that my stepmother is a stereotypical archetype. I like bog standard but I am afraid that a wider American audience will be unfamiliar with the phrase.
For to clarify in a manner that furthers understanding:
There are a lot of phrases on both sides of the Atlantic that mean plain, boring, unexciting, standard or average. But bog standard has a special flavor all its own. It has this special, subtle knock to it.
To sort-of clarify the matter so you know what I want, I want the reader in just one or two (or three) words get the feeling that she is a straight from The Brothers Grimm standard issue stepmother. She might as well have come stock from the Acme Stepmother Factory in a wooden crate marked "Contents: One Stepmother. Fragile. This Side Up." I want it to be like I'm standing in line being handed the contents of my life: One childhood, pleasant, check; One adolescence, awkward, check; One stepmother, standard issue, check. I want one small phrase that captures this whole concept, packs it in a nice little box, puts a nice little bow on it and then hands it to the reader.
That's not too much to ask, is it?