Is there a word for a woman going away from home to learn etiquette

Question

I was wondering if there is a word that describes either the act of a woman going away to learn etiquette from someone outside her immediate family, or describes a woman who is going away to learn etiquette from someone outside her immediate family?

Old fashioned words are fine, it would be especially good if the word is tied to feudal culture.

Update: I have been asked to provide context.

This is part of a conversation between a witch and a faerie queen. The faerie has stolen the witch's granddaughter and naturally enough the witch wants her back. Their conversation is a combination of courtroom argument and a magic battle over the granddaughter.

The witch has said being a blood relationship gives her custody of the child, the faerie is making a counter argument that children leave their families all the time:

“You are old and all your sons and daughter have grown. A boy must learn a trade. A girl must ___ and find a husband. The Child may be of your blood, but blood is not so fair.

Since it has come up in the comments, I'd also like to add that in this setting finishing schools do not exist. Instead one to one mentorship with an older woman is used, I know that happened in the real world. Elizabeth Báthory is rather infamous for killing the girls sent to her to learn etiquette. I'm just hoping there's a specific word for it.

Answer 1

Debutante: a woman makes her first public appearance. (See Oxford Dictionary of English.)

So, in the context you have provided the word could be debut:

"You are old and all your sons and daughter have grown. A boy must learn a trade. A girl must debut and find a husband. [...]"

Some references from Google Books:

• Critical Companion to Henry James by Kendall Johnson, Eric L. Haralson
  The focus of their conversation turns to Mrs. Brook's daughter, Nanda, who is of an age to make her social debut and find a husband according to the custom of the time.

• William Worth Belknap: An American Disgrace by Edward S. Cooper
  Amanda's two young nieces, Lucy and Alida Worthington, came for different reasons; Alida for a short holiday on her way to school in Baltimore, and Lucy to make her social debut and find a husband.

Answer 2

Based on your context, I'd offer:

A boy must learn a trade. A girl must learn social graces and find a husband.

No, it's not a single word, but it seems to flow well nonetheless. Besides, social graces has a timeless enough ring to it; it could work well even in a world of witches and faeries.

Answer 3

I would think 'learn courtesy' would be the best fit. The word originally meant 'behaviour at the king's court'; 'court manners' is the root of the modern usage, but the original covered much more than that, and young people (of both sexes) were sent to noble families for several years to learn it.

Answer 4

You could say, "A girl must learn to be charming and find a husband."

You could say "A girl must attend charm school...", except you said that "finishing school" would not have existed in the time of your story's setting.

In your context, charm would have the double meaning of attractiveness and a magical incantation.

Answer 5

At some time in the past, the word seminary meant a school at which pupils would take up residence rather than one to which they would commute daily. At some point it came to mean such a school for girls. And later it came to mean a postsecondary institution in which one studies to become a clergyman.

A certain novel that I may have mentioned here once or twice has a girl who was sent to a "school for young ladies" far from her home. A translation into German calls it a "school for higher daughters", that being a term formerly used in German-speaking countries for daughters of the nobility. She was "the only daughter of His Supreme Excellency, General Sir John Fitzgerald Coburn, O.B.E., K.B., O.S.U., and probably X.Y.Z., Imperial Ambassador to Hespera and Resident Commissioner Plenipotentiary."

Answer 6

I was wondering if there is a word that describes either the act of a woman going away to learn etiquette from someone outside her immediate family, or describes a woman who is going away to learn etiquette from someone outside her immediate family?

A girl must be sent to court and find a husband. The Child may be of your blood, but blood is not so fair.

Witches and faeries exist in pseudo-mediaeval settings. At that time, a father might attempt to have a member of the nobility/royalty take on his daughter as a guest/student in order that she might learn more of the manners of the nobility.

This was known as "sending to court" in which court is a general term for the society and assemblage of a ruling/important family.

OED Court (n.)

I.2. The place where a monarch or similar ruler resides and holds state, attended by his or her retinue.

1790 States..may send agents to the Emperor's Court. J. Dornford, translation of J. S. Pütter, Hist. Devel. German Empire vol. III. xiv. i. 229

1849 The quarters of William now began to present the appearance of a court. T. B. Macaulay, History of England vol. II. 509

Answer 7

I believe that the kind of young woman is an "au pair."

In its original context, it meant, "of equals," that is, the young woman is actually a social EQUAL of the host family. The mistress of the house would teach the young woman domestic arts, and the young woman would reciprocate by helping her perform those functions and "practicing" at the same time.

Most often, the "domestic arts" in question, were childcaring. And in the modern context, the "mistress" wanted to slough OFF those responsibilities to the young woman or au pair while she did other things (like go to work). Hence the modern development of "au pairs" who were NOT the socio-economic equals of their "mistresses."