Word or phrase for someone who perpetually finds themselves witnessing bizarre situations

Question

I am looking for an expression to decribe a person who perpetually finds themselves witnessing bizarre situations. For instance, maybe their classmates or professors are always doing something unexpected and said person is often there to watch it as it happens.

For context: I'd like to use this expression when I have finished telling several stories about the interesting characters from my school, and wanted to round them up with a brief summarising, self-deprecating statement of what an *unlucky person I am or what a magnet for bizarre characters I am. But I don't think "unlucky" or the magnet metaphor makes the cut; it could be more humorous, colorful, or creative.

Answer 1

You are a perpetual perceiver of peculiar predicaments.

Or a blighted bystander to the bizarre.

Answer 2

You might consider one of these expressions, or a combination of them, depending on the degree of meaning you wish to convey.

• ill-fated / fated (implies negative outcomes)
• victim of happenstance (implies lack of control over one's situation)
• a rare bird (implies one is unique -- but usually applies to one's own traits)
• mysterious victim of serendipity (implies one is an unwilling recipient of favorable chance events)

Optionally you might cobble together an unusual or creative phrase, or even coin your own word!