14

This is for a poetic endeavor.

The person allowing this is a people pleaser and lacking in self-esteem (obviously). They feel they are in love with the “user” and although aware that the “relationship” is one-sided, they make excuses and would rather put up with being taken advantage of than lose them. They believe that patience and perseverance will pay off in the end.

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12 Answers 12

7

Can I suggest milquetoast?

a timid, meek, or unassertive person

A milquetoast person knows they are being abused, but does nothing about it. I think it fits pretty well, though the word is often associated with cowardice.

45

One possibility:

Merriam-Webster doormat
2: one that submits without protest to abuse or indignities

It's metaphoric extension of the basic meaning - someone who gets "walked on" a lot.

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  • 3
    A good suggestion, if not perfect because of the weak association with love. But a quick look through so-called synonyms reveals none that satisfy better the required meaning. I suspect "doormat" may be as good as it gets.
    – Anton
    Sep 20 at 8:54
  • 8
    My feeling is that "doormat" is often used of people in relationships (example, example), so while it doesn't have an obvious romantic meaning, it is often used in that way. It maybe relates to "walkover" which is a more general term for someone who poses no challenge (e.g. often used in sports).
    – Stuart F
    Sep 20 at 10:17
  • 3
    I thought a person known as a doormat usually allows everyone to treat them poorly without any protests. He/she is not dedicated to any one person, love or otherwise. Sep 22 at 17:05
17

I would propose pushover or lapdog

Pushover

  1. someone unable to resist an attraction or appeal : sucker

Lapdog

2 : a servile dependent or follower

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13

A fashionable word is "simp". It refers to men who allow themselves to be used by women in the hope of receiving favours or approval.

The older meaning of this word is "simpleton", however in current usage, this has been pretty much usurped.

Here is an excerpt from an essay on the origin and meaning of the term.

The internet teen slang simp, as is true of many slang terms that go mainstream, appears to come directly from Black hip-hop slang—and it’s older than you may think.

Hip-hop lyrics from the late 1980s and 1990s were already using simp as an insult for a men perceived as too subservient to a woman. For instance, on Ice-T’s 1987 “Our Most Requested Record [Long Version],” DJ Evil E raps: “Taking out all simps and suckers …” Urban Dictionary entries in the early 2000–2010s also use simp in this way

https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/simp/

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  • 5
    This is colloquial, however it captures the meaning of what the OP was asking for the closest in my opinion Sep 21 at 14:16
  • 2
    I'm not sure how other people feel about this. But when hearing simp I primarily think of "Sucker ideolizing mediocre pussy" which would not be a good fit for the described situation. Actually, in my opinion, this is a word I would use never ever ever. Sep 21 at 19:55
  • 2
    This is the word that first sprang to mind. I'd include the definition in your answer, not just the origin. The link you posted has it in there "Simp is a slang insult for men who are seen as too attentive and submissive to women, especially out of a failed hope of winning some entitled sexual attention or activity from them." Sep 22 at 13:19
7

Consider servile:

too eager to serve and please someone else in a way that shows you do not have much respect for yourself
Cambridge Dictionary

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  • I like this… it delivers without quite such a punch and leaves a little less of a negative connotative taste on the tongue.
    – Kary
    Sep 25 at 8:34
5

If the person is a man and the word can be a little vulgar then pussy whipped would be an option.

The Free Dictionary: "pussy whipped: (vulgar slang) Totally controlled, domineered, or emasculated by a woman. Typically said of a man. Sometimes hyphenated or written as a single word."

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subservient

She was subservient to her partner to a fault.

Cambridge Dictionary defines the term as

adjective • disapproving
willing to do what other people want, or considering your wishes as less important than those of other people:

  • Women were expected to adopt a subservient role/position.
3

Co-dependent — this was very popular in the 1980s. I'm surprised it hasn't shown up yet.

From Mental Health America via Google:

A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time. A tendency to become hurt when people don't recognize their efforts. An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment. An extreme need for approval and recognition.

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enabler

The Caimbridge English Dictionary] defines "enabler".

You can read the definition from Caimbridge I supplied, or readthe following novel definition:

For any two persons x and y if x provides somthing to y which y uses to damage themselves, then x is said to be an enabler of y.

An Example:

Sarah was an enabler of her husband's gambling addiction. She even sold her mother's jewelry in order to supply him with more money.

1

I immediately thought "tool", but that doesn't necessarily imply love as a motivator. Also, "tool" subtly implies not knowing you're being used (possibly willing disbelief), so that makes "tool" less favorable than "doormat".

But it might rhyme!

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  • 3
    Tool also has a very different negative connotation.
    – barbecue
    Sep 20 at 22:17
  • 1
    I concur, but the OP didn't specify a positive or negative meaning.
    – JohnG
    Sep 21 at 16:27
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Why does it always have to be one word with these posts? I just do not get it.

Nonetheless obsequious and credulous are the two words I should use to describe the person about whom you are talking.

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  • 2
    The OP asked for one word. Are you asking about their motivation for the singleton request or just rhetorically commenting on your perception of the state of this community in general?
    – JohnG
    Sep 21 at 16:31
  • I think this is about the general case, by the use of the word "posts" (plural). Oct 11 at 12:24
0

A person who allows themselves to be used, perhaps with hope of a romantic pay-off is said to be "passive".

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