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I have a question regarding the usage of these two terms together. It sounds repetitive to me in this example:

Sample sentence:

He floated gracefully across the room, offered his hand and whispered, “Come, child.”
She took his hand; her lip quivered.

Is there another phrase or word I can use in place of one of these phrases?

I've thought about what to change and I come back to these two phrases.

2 Answers 2

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I suggest you move things around a bit and use the relative pronoun which:

He floated gracefully across the room and whispered, “Come, child,” offering his hand (to her), which she took (hold of), as her lip quivered.

She took his hand sounds alright, but she took it stops a bit short. The parentheses are optional, but the sentence reads better if you use them.

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  • Oh thank you.. That does sound better. :)
    – KatyaPayne
    Aug 19, 2022 at 18:37
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Yes. That single word would be "it."

Example:

He floated gracefully across the room, offered his hand and whispered, "Come, child."

Her lip quivering, she took it.

Notice I changed the second sentence. The one that appears in your example smacks of a writer ham-fistedly trying to appear clever by using a semicolon but only making the phrasing clunky instead.

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  • I try to avoid "it" if I can. Thanks for the tip on the semicolon. I am still learning English grammar and confused on comma splices.
    – KatyaPayne
    Aug 19, 2022 at 18:37
  • Why would you try to avoid "it" if you can? That's not anything writing coaches, editors, grammarians, English teachers, or anyone I know of suggests or recommends. To the contrary, if you can aptly use "it," you should since it's more succinct. Aug 20, 2022 at 15:24
  • I try to avoid it when possible because when I use it too often it sounds redundant. Also I feel like there is a time and a place for it. I tend to use a descriptive word in its place if able. Haha, I just drove myself nuts there. I might be OCD.
    – KatyaPayne
    Sep 3, 2022 at 18:33

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