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I'm unsure if this is the appropriate community to ask this question, but it is related to punctuation (:-)). I'm currently doing research for a city council in my state, where I and my colleagues are to resolve police brutality and develop a resolution for holding police accountable. With that out of the way, of course, I have to write my final report. Here it is:

In the very beginning, I initially had the impression that the issue germane to police brutality was a matter of law enforcement officials’ camaraderie, their inability to de-escalate, lack of perspicacity and circumspection (especially when it pertain to the mentally disabled), and haste utilization of lethal and “nonlethal” weaponry as a consequence of the formers and latter. The police departments utilization of pepper spray is deeply troubling, which is reflected in their haste implementation of the device within various supervening situations. The pepper spraying of a nine year-old girl, for example, back in early March of 2021, where Rochester police responded to a domestic disturbance in which the nine year-old girl was handcuffed, shoved in the backseat of a squad car and promptly pepper sprayed in the eyes, is the quintessence of excessive/ unnecessary brutality upon the people that’s so often endured. To be clear, this isn’t merely >anecdotal (viz. this isn’t one instance or one of a few) but, in fact, one of thousands >of putative cases of brutality nationwide. After months of deliberation with my colleagues Thomas, Mikaela, and our research head-advisor Dr. Crosby, however, my initial resolution (I’ve determined) was superficial; that is, I’m asking the wrong question: What is the cause or correlation between individual acts of brutality (particularly the haste use of pepper spray) and police training?

The last line, I want to say

After months of deliberation with my colleagues Thomas, Mikaela, and our research head-advisor Dr. Crosby, however, my initial resolution (I’ve determined) was superficial; that is, I’m asking the wrong question: What is the cause or correlation between individual acts of brutality (particularly the haste use of pepper spray) and police training?, rather I should ask the question: When is it ever justifiable to administer or employ lethal or "nonlethal" weaponry against defenseless, apprehended individuals who (more often than not) are recalcitrant- especially against a child?

I have put the object in question in bold. Can I do this? Alternatively, should I use a semicolon instead? I need your expertise.

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  • With the comma so unexpected, any reason you couldn't use a period? Also, I'd use hasty instead of haste in four places. Dec 30, 2021 at 19:15
  • Very (over-) lengthy sentences. Use << ; that is, I’m asking the wrong question: What is the cause or correlation between individual acts of brutality (particularly the haste use of pepper spray) and police training? Instead, I should be asking the question: When is it ever justifiable ...? >> Jan 21, 2022 at 15:46

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We should not use commas with question marks. It is awkward. In your example, I would have gone this way:

After months of deliberation with my colleagues Thomas, Mikaela, and our research head-advisor Dr. Crosby, however, my initial resolution (I’ve determined) was superficial; that is, I’m asking the wrong question: What is the cause or correlation between individual acts of brutality (particularly the haste use of pepper spray) and police training? I should rather ask the question: When is it ever justifiable to administer or employ lethal or "nonlethal" weaponry against defenseless, apprehended individuals who (more often than not) are recalcitrant- especially against a child?

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