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My character is trying to convince his girlfriend to let him keep his new puppy in their apartment. She opposes fiercely, because she doesn't like dogs and feels her space would be invaded. They have an argument, which ends with her saying:

There will be no further __[word pertaining to dogs]__ in this house.

My question is what word would mean "anything/everything dog related"?  It would be nice if there was a word ending in "ry". I could invent one, like "mongrelry", but I wonder if there aren't better alternatives.

15
  • 5
    I'd suggest canininity, but that would be silly.
    – Andrew Leach
    Dec 4 '21 at 17:02
  • 1
    A little silly is good. Not being a native speaker, I often get the nuances wrong, so I'd appreciate help with the silliness, too.
    – Magicsowon
    Dec 4 '21 at 17:14
  • 4
    How educated is the girlfriend? Why use a $1.50 word when she could use "no more mention of dogs", or "no more dog talk", or even "Shut up about the dog, already!" ? The use of an unnecessarily fancy word suggests the speaker is being whimsically humorous, which in turn suggests her resistance to the idea of getting a dog is crumbling.
    – Spencer
    Dec 4 '21 at 22:03
  • 2
    "No more dog doggerel"? :-)
    – abligh
    Dec 5 '21 at 8:30
  • 2
    I'm getting the feeling that this is more than just a 'story'.
    – Mitch
    Dec 7 '21 at 18:40
12

Having thought of canininity, I found that OED does actually contain a similar word:

caninity noun

From Latin canīnus, after humanity.

  1. Canine quality or trait; dog nature or race.

    1879 G. MacDonald Sir Gibbie I. ix. 131 A lover of humanity can hardly fail to be a lover of caninity.

  2. Sympathy with dogs, kindness to dogs.

    1886 Sat. Rev. 27 Feb. 289/1 The humanity of the wire muzzle, or rather its enlightened caninity.

"Sympathy with dogs" seems to fit the bill — "There will be no further caninity in this house!"

2
  • Hmm. It is getting near Christmas, and I got away with uze. Man's incaninity to dogs. Dec 4 '21 at 17:16
  • 1
    Sorry, but it would be a stretch to actually say this or use it. People just agree because it's funny.
    – Lambie
    Dec 7 '21 at 18:44
3

Dogginess: the quality or characteristic of being doggy

Source: Collins Dictionary

6
  • No; 'There will be no more dogginess in this house' doesn't work. 'Caninity' has the added sense 'tolerance of / sympathy with dogs'. Though I suspect it's extremely rare, and OED is displaying it here. Dec 4 '21 at 17:57
  • If you follow the link from the definition of "doggy", you'll see that one meaning of doggy is "fond of dogs", which matches your request.
    – ghurley
    Dec 4 '21 at 18:45
  • In that case, please give an example you've found on the internet of 'dogginess' being used for 'fondness/tolerance of dogs'. In grey areas, senses often don't persist across intercategorial boundaries. *'He telescoped the star'. Dec 4 '21 at 18:49
  • 1
    @EdwinAshforth if internet examples are needed to prove a word's validity, caninity is going to have problems too.
    – The Photon
    Dec 4 '21 at 20:52
  • Not at all. Dogginess is too cute a word for this context.
    – Lambie
    Dec 7 '21 at 18:45
2

Let's go from Latin to Greek.

No cynoids or cynoid creatures

The suffix -oid refers to the object's shape or form. So an ovoid is egg-shaped. Well, people will insist on mixing Latin and Greek in the same word, and ovum is definitely Latin. Strictly, It should be oyyoid, to be Greek and oviform to be purely Latin-derived, but never mind that. We can't fight usage. The point is that the ending oid is regularly used in a derogatory sense. So if I refer to someone as a humanoid, it will be understood as contemptuous: perhaps human in appearance only.

Cynoid has the further objection that cyn has already been bagged by people wanting to accuse others of cynicism, a quit different defect, unknown in relation to any dogs I know.

You could go ahead and mix Latin and Greek and use canoid (pronouncing the first syllable to rhyme with the brother of Abel). That may have the better of both worlds: to be understood and to be insulting.

2
  • I know that this answer is regarding a derogatory use implied by the suffix -oid, but if it matters more to convey the sense of “dog-like creature,” I feel like canine or canid would be more recognizable to the average speaker. I’m a data point of one, but I had never heard of cynoid or canoid before this answer (and the latter appears to refer to a family separate from or much larger than Canidae, but if that’s the intent I still think caniform might be more recognizable).
    – cole
    Dec 5 '21 at 20:06
  • @cole Well, a touch of levity is surely in the spirit of the season. And you are quite right that 'canid' would work. '-id' and '-oid' are essentially of the same derivation. Every primary school pupil should have come across '-id' as in 'hominid' and '-oid' as in '-cuboid' somewhere along the way. Both are different shortenings of the word 'eidos' (= form or shape), depending on the ending of the word onto which it gets tacked.
    – Tuffy
    Dec 5 '21 at 20:22
2

Consider:

There will be no further barking in this house.

This sort-of works on a literal level:

Lexico:

    Utter (a command or question) abruptly or aggressively.
    ‘he began barking out his orders’

American Heritage Dictionary:

    To speak sharply; snap: "a spot where you can just drop in ... without anyone's barking at you for failing to plan ahead" (Andy Birsh).

but the kicker is the double entendre: “bark” is also the word commonly used to describe the sound made by a dog.


But, with all due respect to the answer with 10 votes, there doesn’t seem to be any good single word. So consider:

There will be no further barking up that tree in this house.

which is a reference to the idiom “barking up the wrong tree”, which can mean pursuing a futile course of action:

The Free Dictionary:

    To attempt or pursue a futile course of action, often by making some kind of suggestion or request.

theidioms.com:

    waste one's efforts by pursuing the wrong thing or path

(while still retaining the dog relevance).

3
  • Sort-of answers are better in comments. Dec 7 '21 at 10:05
  • But answers in comments get deleted.
    – Scott
    Dec 7 '21 at 10:08
  • ............Yes. Dec 7 '21 at 10:29
1

There will be no dog or dog-related objects in my house!

or

There will be no dog or dog-paraphenalia in my house!

A similar example about YoYos from the Simpsons.

Spoken English doesn't have a good one-word word for dog-stuff. Something like 'Caninery' sounds like you are dong it to sounds strange on purpose and will confuse the reader -- unless of course you are trying to portray the woman as one who uses strange words.

1

Doggery fits nicely with a more colloquial tone. It is used figuratively also. It has other meanings too (like "a kennel" in US English or "a disreputable drinking establishment" in slang) but it can cover your definition as well.

OED definition:

Doglike behaviour; mean and contemptible action; mischievousness; an instance of this.

Collins definition:

1. doglike behavior or conduct, esp. when surly
2. dogs collectively

Funnily, the word can indicate the mischievous behavior of both the dog and the human.

0

dog shit

This seems to combine the type of consequences† of admitting animals into human dwellings with the colloquial meaning of the related “Bullshit”, and is clearly the right sort of expression with which to conclude an argument. No shit!

† Hair, fleas, smells, scratched furniture etc., even if the dog is house-trained.

Alternatively:

bitchiness

seems apposite (if politically incorrect). One might expect it coming from the man rather than the woman, but consider it as irony.

or perhaps, in the US:

doggone nonsense

or even:

doggerel

as one really can’t take this too seriously. (And these are the sort of things a PhD student might come up with.)

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