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I wrote the following sentence in English:

Part of a development group responsible for releasing security solutions for Google’s Security product and investigating devices while understanding their network footprints and integration with other systems.

But when I read it, it doesn't sound too clear or professional. What bothers me the most?

  • The use of "for" twice in one sentence.
  • The use of "and" twice, I want the second use of "and" to feel as more close connection that the first "and" because the main 2 responsiblitis are:
  1. Releasing security solutions for Google’s Security product

  2. Investigating devices while understanding their network footprints and integration with other systems.

Can someone help me improve this to add it to my Resume (Is the use of commas correct too)? Thanks in advance.

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It's true that the string of phrases makes the passage a bit cumbersome. At first I was thinking that it was possible to mistakenly pair "understanding" with "releasing":

... a group responsible for [releasing and investigating] while understanding...

Ultimately, that mistake is prevented because of the number of a pronoun:

... responsible for releasing [a] product (singular) and investigating devices (plural) while understanding their (plural)...

But the fact that you have to dig in that hard makes it a bit tiring. Adding additional words or commas might help structure the sentence, but ultimately it might be simplest and clearest to break it up. This requires either turning to true complete sentences, or perhaps "sub-bullet-points" if that's the format that's being used (you should stay consistent with other entries). Perhaps something like:

I was part of a development group responsible for releasing security solutions for Google’s Security product. We also investigated devices while understanding their network footprints and integration with other systems.

OR

  • Part of a development group responsible for:
    • Releasing security solutions for Google’s Security product
    • Investigating devices while understanding their network footprints and integration with other systems

There may be other beneficial word changes ("investigating while understanding"? Is that really what you mean to convey?), but that would be best covered by someone that offers general resume-crafting advice.

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  • Thank you so much, one note can you help me change "we also investigated" to "I" but on the other hand I don't want to mention "I" twice in same paragraph. (It's not recommended in resume". Not related: the sentence shouldn't be in past as I'm still part of this...
    – Algo
    Dec 1 '21 at 17:09
  • Ha, it's hard to avoid using "I" a lot in a resume, since it's all about you! It is nice to vary your constructions so not all the sentences start with "I did this, I did that," but I'm not sure you can get it down to once per paragraph... If absolutely required, you could cheat by using a different pronoun: "My duties also include investigating devices..." But personally I feel that adds unnecessary bulk (Yes, we know that you're talking about what "your duties include"), and I'd prefer "I also investigate." (But stronger and more personal words might be better anyway.) Dec 1 '21 at 17:17
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Part of a development group responsible for releasing security solutions for Google’s Security product and investigating devices while understanding their network footprints and integration with other systems.

  • the responsible for is not needed.
  • One investigates something to do something else. It's best to avoid "while" here.

That is not a full sentence. It does not have a subject verb and predicate.

If this is for a resume, you would typically need an action verb upfront.

  • [I] Participated in a development group releasing security solutions for Google's security product and investigated devices to understand their network footprints and integration with other systems.

Resumes typically leave out the pronouns but the sentences start with action verbs. It does not have to be "participate" but that is the idea.

Resumes list accomplishments with the actions verbs, leaving out the I pronoun.

  • Participated in X
  • Developed Y
  • Increases Z.

Happy New Year!

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