I'm editing a draft of a formal speech written by a non-native English speaker in which "those" is repeatedly used as a demonstrative adjective/determiner. My instinct is to change these instances of "those" to "the", but I'm having trouble explaining why in clear terms.
Technically, I don't think their usage is incorrect, but it feels unnatural to me. Am I wrong, and this is completely acceptable? Does the fact that the nouns paired with these determiners are followed by subordinate clauses indicate some sort of implied contrast, which makes it okay? Are there set rules for when to use "the" vs "those"?
Below are a couple examples from the text.
I'd like to thank those outstanding members, officials, and contributors who went above and beyond to make this dream a reality.
We should concentrate on those departments with the most serious issues.