In the 2nd episode of the 3rd season of Would I Lie To You?, a fragment is shown from a 1985 episode of London Weekend Television's The Six O'Clock Show, with someone purporting to be a former Teddy Boy saying the following:
"1955, Saturday night, off to Tottenham Royal. So it was crash, bash, sausage an' mash, two kip[per]s and a bonbon, little dab will do you. Really so, on the Barnet. And the combination was Old Spice on the German, little bit of Old Spice, tiddly-winky-woo, with the Brylcreem, bee's knees."
It's at the 6:33 mark.
Since they talk about a Cockney Bible afterwards, I assume this to be Cockney. And a rather contrived bit at that. And while I think I'm getting the general drift of what he's saying, I'm sorry I haven't a clue what he's actually saying.
From what I gather, in preparation to go out to the Mecca Dance Hall in Tottenham on a Saturday night, he ate (sausage and mashed potatoes), then put on some Brylcreem (of which "a little dab will do you" was the advertising slogan) on the sides of his hair and Old Spice on his face, after which he fancied he looked good. But I'm probably missing half of it.
What is he saying?
A comment pointed me to another question about the same fragment, that focused on a couple of phrases from that monologue. I'm interested in the meaning of the entire bit. For instance, "on the German" is not explained there.