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English is not my first language, but I do communicate a lot in non formal setting with UK born and bred very nice people. From where I come there a plenty of ways to say "This is not going to happen":

  • it will happen on the 30th of February
  • it will happen when shoes blossom
  • it will happen when you see your back without a mirror

What will be nice and polite way to say that in front of a native speaker, showing her I have a deep interest in the language?

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    Nice and polite is: “That’s probably unlikely in the current situation.” Cute would be: “When pigs fly.” Belligerent is: When Hell freezes over.” Defiant is: “Over my dead body.” Polite usually means no joking. – Jim Jan 15 at 21:19
  • There's always "Not a chance!" – Hot Licks Jan 15 at 21:48
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    Since these phrases all carry sarcasm, how polite do you want to be? – livresque Jan 15 at 22:13
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12th of never

"the 12th of never" is used as the date of a future occurrence that will never come to pass.

e.g.

  • A: So... when can I buy you a drink?

  • B: How about the 12th of never?

(Urban)

If this doesn't do, you can find plenty of other answers here.

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