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Which sentence makes the most sense?

On 25 July, Russia joined Serbia in mobilisation and in a surprise to the Germans, as they thought that the Russians would take a long time to get ready for war.

On 25 July, Russia joined Serbia in mobilisation which was a surprise to the Germans, as they thought that the Russians would take a long time to get ready for war.

Grammarly shows that both of these sentences are correct but I think it's the latter.

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  • The second sentence, with which was, is probably the more common expression, but both the sentences sound fine to me. You might want a comma before which in the second sentence. – Isabel Archer May 30 '20 at 9:11
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The first sentence has a faulty coordination:

On 25 July,

[Russia joined Serbia in mobilisation]

and

[in a surprise to the Germans, as they thought...]

The first coordinate is a main clause, but the second is an adjunct that lacks a main clause to modify:

In a surprise to the Germans, as they thought that the Russians would take a long time to get ready for war

This cannot stand alone as a sentence and hence cannot enter into a coordination with:

Russia joined Serbia in mobilisation

The only other possible interpretation is that the Russians joined Serbia in both a mobilisation and a surprise to the Germans, but was Serbia's mobilisation also a surprise? It seems that Russia joining them was the surprise.

The second sentence is good as Russia joined Serbia in mobilisation is the antecedent for which, and which, in turn is subject of the relative clause modified by adjunct of reason as...

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