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Word count is killing me on one of my applications. My go-to is to used "I was awarded a scholarship." over "I won a scholarship." Is there any benefit to the former?

Full sentence:

After my $100 became $190 via a truly diverse stock portfolio (one Apple share), finance seemed the place to be to my eighteen-year-old self. So, being awarded the ____ Scholarship was seemingly a godsend.

versus

After my $100 became $190 via a truly diverse stock portfolio (one Apple share), finance seemed the place to be to my eighteen-year-old self. Winning the ____ Scholarship was then seemingly a godsend.

Cheers!

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  • If you are looking at word count, I would rewrite "to my eighteen-year-old self" as "at age 18." Dec 3 '19 at 10:36
  • Hmmmm I dont like how that sounds... is this proper? "After my $100 became $190 via a truly diverse stock portfolio (one Apple share), finance seemed the place to be as an eighteen-year-old. Winning the ____ Scholarship was then seemingly a godsend." Is that hyphenation proper when it is a noun and not describing "self" as before?
    – Lopey Tall
    Dec 3 '19 at 11:53
  • I also suggested that change because "to my eighteen-year-old self" sounds self-indulgent, like you love your achievement. Dec 3 '19 at 12:25
  • @WeatherVane can you explain further? The sentence should come off as "I entered college under a silly assumption that I would like financial studies because I thought the stock market was magic after being a penniless eighteen year old (hyphenation since its a noun? can anyone answer this/above comment?) and seeing my investment nearly double."
    – Lopey Tall
    Dec 4 '19 at 11:08
  • I assumed this is a resume being written, because you mention "application." If so I would use a different style. Dec 4 '19 at 11:20
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It depends on how you came to acquire it:

  • you won it in a competition;
  • it was granted upon your application; or perhaps
  • it was awarded to you for good results.

Or you could simply say that it was a relief to get the scholarship.

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  • 1
    huh! that makes win a totally valid choice then! Since the scholarship I'm talking about is one I APPLIED for and competed against other for, versus a scholarship one gets in college for good grades in high school or something! Thank you! :)
    – Lopey Tall
    Dec 3 '19 at 11:51

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