I don't know the word for it, so I will call it hate, but it might seem too extreme a word for people from the US.

Example from one of the comments I got:

Maybe you're playing the wrong sort of game, if you don't like RPG limitations. Maybe you should be playing The Sims instead (not trying to be funny here).

The person disagrees with me, but because he softly hates me he says I should play The Sims. If he had nothing against me, he would not say the The Sims part.

closed as not a real question by Mitch, Hugo, Matt E. Эллен, RegDwigнt Dec 15 '11 at 14:45

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    Maybe the person was just trying to be helpful and was not trying to offend you. But that would be a topic for a different stack exchange. – Jay Elston Dec 15 '11 at 0:50
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    There doesn't seem to be a question here. Is it about the word 'hate'? Or an explanation of the quote? or what? – Mitch Dec 15 '11 at 1:34
  • The OP mentioned this thread in his other question if anyone wanted the context. It'd be too localized if not a NARQ – simchona Dec 15 '11 at 14:52

The example sentence doesn't contain any suggestion the other party likes, dislikes, or despises you. However, it may be thought patronizing or disrespectful, a put down or rebuke, or possibly mocking.

Here are the related meanings of the infinitives of those terms:

  • despise: To regard with contempt or scorn

  • patronize: To assume a tone of unjustified superiority; to talk down to; to treat condescendingly.

  • disrespect: To show a lack of respect to someone or something; to diss

  • put down: To insult, belittle, or demean

  • rebuke: To criticise harshly; to reprove

  • mock: To make fun of by mimicking, to taunt

Those definitions include some relevant synonyms too.

Most likely case: the other person was patronizing.

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    Despise is too strong, isn't it? And the others in the list appear to be action verbs, whereas hate is a... well, there's another question right there. What do you call a verb that is not an action? – HNL Dec 15 '11 at 3:46
  • @HNL - Not enough context was given to say if "despise" is too strong, too weak, or what; I included that word so IAdapter can check it himself or herself in some presumably more complete context. Regarding verbs, the linked pages include both noun and verb forms. The question, for its part, shows a verb form: "he softly hates me". – James Waldby - jwpat7 Dec 15 '11 at 4:27
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    Definitely patronising. – Matt E. Эллен Dec 15 '11 at 9:29
  • patronize fits the best here :) big thx! – IAdapter Dec 15 '11 at 11:22

If hate is too strong, then you might consider using dislike.


The person may not dislike you at all, but may have been miffed, peeved, or perturbed.

There are plenty of other words that convey various shades of disagreeableness. Have fun browsing the thesaurus.


In this context, I'd call the person's comment disparaging, from the verb disparage:

  1. to speak of or treat slightingly; depreciate; belittle:
  2. to bring reproach or discredit upon; lower the estimation of

Maybe he finds you disagreeable?

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    I disagree (I hope that doesn't make me disagreeable). He doesn't know me and its just a random attack for no reason at all. – IAdapter Dec 15 '11 at 0:32

The word 'disinclination' could be considered to mean soft hatred. One would not necessarily hate some thing but he/she would have a disinclination for it.

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