I'm not asking for a proof reading. And to further clarify, the Context is there to only provide context. I ask you to please ignore any perceived mistakes in the Context (located underneath the titular numbered sentences below).

1) Mary spoke with a smooth tone, and in that way finished her sentence.

2) Mary spoke with a smooth tone and in that way, she finished her sentence.

3) Mary spoke with a smooth tone and in that way finished her sentence.


Narrative first person character (Nar) is speaking to Mary.

Nar: “……Are you okay with this? Even your life was on the line, wasn’t it?”

Mary: “Because their purpose in keeping me alive is to kill people. Because it’s my time to die when I’m unable to kill.”

Sentence (1) (2) or (3), based on which best fits the desired meaning below

I want the placement of "in that way" in the second clause to mean that the second-clause's topic focuses more on the speaker and less on the action she is doing. I understand that there are Grammar rules for writing correct sentences in English, which is why I'm searching for clarity on the nuances of the italicized phrase in only sentences (1) and (2); seeing as in (3) it's being used as a descriptive conjunction for the two clauses.

Edit: The context and numbered sentences are translated sentences. I currently lack the original text; due to my copy of the original file being on my home computer 2,000 miles away from me.

(Currently typing this edit on my phone; I apologize for any typos)

When I again have access to the above file, I’ll cross-reference the information gained here with what is on the original on my own (as posting the original here might be mistaken as requesting a proof-read; a translation-request; and other off-topic infractions).

  • 1
    Both sentences are very odd to a native speaker. Does 'in that way' refer to Mary's tone of voice? (Fluent describes the ease with which a person brings out their words, not to a tone of voice.) If she is Mary, why mention her twice in a short sentence? – Kate Bunting Sep 27 '19 at 8:32
  • In my opinion, sentence 2 is crafted better. – rajah9 Sep 28 '19 at 14:23

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