Which of the following sentences contains the grammatically correct bolded section:

"He affected me and my friend's day." or "He affected my and my friend's day."

It seems clear to me that the first sentence clearly sounds the best, but I was always told that you should be able to isolate the sentence to just one of the objects, i.e. remove my friend from the sentence, and when I do that, only the second sentence makes sense.

What is the correct grammar to use here?


2 Answers 2

  1. "He affected my day."

  2. "He affected my friend's day."

  3. "He affected my day and my friend's day."

Hence - "He affected my and my friend's day."

You wouldn't think of writing - "He affected me day." - would you? :)

He affected me and my friend's day.

puts forward two things,

  1. He affected you. (not your day but affected you in some other way)
  2. He affected your friend's day.

Therefore, "me and my" is not a good combination for use in this context.

  • 1
    Thanks, that last part is exactly what I thought. :D I saw your comment on the post before, and I was going to reply by saying that I had phrased the question wrong. To clarify, I had used "my and my" in writing that couldn't be changed (in a different sentence, and not in formal writing), and so I was looking to confirm that what I had used was correct. In hindsight, I would have certainly used your phrasing. Also, you needn't worry about editing your post any further, you have already been very helpful. :)
    – Charlie
    Aug 16, 2019 at 18:14
  • 2
    'My friends' and my day' Aug 16, 2019 at 19:10
  • 1
    @marcellothearcane - I doubt if the OP wants something like that. I myself thought up - "He affected my friend's day and mine." - but the OP actually just wants to know whether "my and my" or "me and my" is correct.
    – Justin
    Aug 16, 2019 at 19:15
  • 2
    @marcellothearcane If you'll see my comment before you'll understand that as Justin said, I was indeed looking for which of the two was correct. Thanks for your help anyway. :)
    – Charlie
    Aug 19, 2019 at 11:49

I know this question is both old and answered, but I would like to add something important.

Consider the following sentences:

John and Mary's car broke down.

John's and Mary's cars broke down.

Both sentences are correct, but they mean different things. In the first sentence, "John and Mary" are a unit that together own the car that broke down. In the second, "John" and "Mary" are two separate people with two separate cars.

In English, the genitive apostrophe-s ending is a lot more flexible than other endings (technically, it's what is known as a "clitic") and always appears at the end of the noun phrase. Hence,

the man in the black hat's bobcat

rather than

*"the man's in the black hat bobcat.

This does not change when discussing pronouns. The first question you should be asking yourself is

Are I and my friend sharing this day that has been affected?

If your answer is "no", then Justin is correct - he has affected your and your friend's days.

If your answer is "yes", then Justin's argument does not apply, and the proper question is

Is it "me and my friend" or "I and my friend"?

Which is completely up to you, as English has no rules about whether to use "I" or "me" in this context.

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