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A certain emotion I felt when the internet refuses to connect for an hour with no traceable error messages: "Imagine all sound you heard started to damp down until only complete silence is heard, while at the same time, everything blackout slowly. Now imagine years of unsolved feeling of injustice, fury, anger and resentment, all concentrated and localised into a pitch black point somewhere near the floor, glowing a very dim void like gray violet color. Imagine you are so frustrated, so angry and so resentful that you want to lash out at someone, except you cannot because the consequences is even more dire. The result is a pure gray violet black kind of impression, all focused to a point of pitch black, and is threatening to drag a lot of sensory feelings and other emotions to it, like waterfalls cascading into a chasm. This extremely concentrated, emotion is like something extremely potent being contained, or like a maximally charged capacitor. It is on the brink of erupting, except it cannot"

Trying to name this emotion, but "dread", "resentment", "hatred", "abyssal", "grudge","infuriation","hell","enrage","embitter" etc. all sound too weak, even if the modifer "unbounded", "transcendental", "extreme" is added. "Despair" seemed to be incomplete, as it seems to be "despair but with something more".

I think a possible way to figure out how to name it is some kind of word that describe the following sentence: "a state of helpelessness so intense that time literally stops in its tracks, or the inverse of the saying when deep romance seemed to stop time"

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    If you feel this way from being without the internet for an hour, I suggest seeking out counseling. Being miffed at a lost internet connection is proportional to the problem; the existential anger you describe sounds like there is a lot more behind it than an internet connection. Aug 5, 2019 at 19:00
  • ok well, to clarify, it is not that every time the internet fails I have this emotion, but for this instance I posted above, somehow something like this happened. What is behind that I am not sure yet, I might need to check my past to be sure
    – Secret
    Aug 5, 2019 at 19:04
  • sacro-frivolous
    – Mitch
    Aug 5, 2019 at 19:10
  • The same thing happened to me the other day, however it was ALL the power....I was actually driven to read a book. Aug 5, 2019 at 19:41

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There is a very short word which encapsulates some of the complex feelings you describe. From Lexico

rage
NOUN

1 Violent uncontrollable anger.
Many artists never get past their anger and inner rage, many have died trying.

However, because you do not act out the rage, in this case it seems to be

Suppressed rage

and the lack of internet makes you aware of it. It is arguably a dangerous state of mind to be in.

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