0

Some people never fall in love. Others fall in love only once, and remain true to their beloved their entire life.

However, there is another group of people who have fallen in love more than a few times, and each time it is just as profound as the first love.

It is like...

"Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

except a lot more often. They don't exactly fall out of love with anyone, but for some reason the relationship ends, and they end up looking for love again. It is often quite tragic, and although they have never forgotten any of their loves, it does not stop them from falling in love with someone new. In their own mind they have always been true to ALL their lovers.

As in Byron's Extracts from Don Juan: Donna Julia’s Letter

To love too much has been the only art I used;
[...]
To love again, and be again undone.

..seems to capture the heart of what I am looking for, but the term "Don Juan" does not work:

a captivating man known as a great lover or seducer of women

Merriam-Webster

..neither do "Romeo" or "Lothario". These seem to focus on a man who thinks of himself as captivating, and a great seducer of women.

Is their a non-gendered expression to describe this kind of person?

  • 1
    I suppose 'hopeless romantic' is too vague? – Dan Jul 21 at 20:03
  • That is a good suggestion, if you can qualify it with a suitable citation in the right context. But it stills sounds a little broad. – Cascabel Jul 21 at 20:05
  • 3
    I don't think that hopeless romantic would be the right term—since the people you describe find love all the time and remain positive even after losing it. (There is no lack of hope.) Although this is also not exactly what you want (so I'm not making it an answer), I would instead pick eternal romantic. That at least gets closer to what I think you're looking for. (Or, more tongue-in-cheek, serial romancer.) – Jason Bassford Supports Monica Jul 21 at 21:22
  • 1
    @JasonBassford - nice point. For what it's worth, in my mind it is other people who label serial romancers 'hopeless'. The serial romancer themself would more likely style themselves as eternally optimistic. Which gives us hopeless romantic or eternal optimist, depending on who is speaking. – Dan Jul 22 at 10:41
  • Following from this, @Cascabel, are you seeking a word that a serial romancer would use to describe themselves, or a word that others might use about them? – Dan Jul 22 at 10:43
0

The term serial monogamist carries many of the connotations sought. The OED offers a brief compound entry for serial monogamist that references serial monogamy:

serial monogamy n. the practice of engaging in a succession of monogamous sexual relationships.

Unlike the terms mentioned by the OP, this term implies not just that the person (who doesn't have to be male) engages in sex with various partners but that the person engages in monogamous relationships with multiple people, offering more insinuation of love and romance than being a casanova.

The explicit implication that the person is monogamous could be seen as supporting the premise of "falling in love," though people who practice polyamory might protest that one can fall in love without being monogamous, which is true.

Perhaps the best argument in favor of using the term for this meaning comes from the popular mainstream associations with the phrase.

We all know that friend who hasn’t been single in, perhaps, her entire life. It might even be you, who knows? Typically that person doesn’t know that she’s a serial monogamist. Like Taylor Swift, she just thinks she falls in love easily. But we all know, it’s much more than that.

The difficulties surrounding romantic relationships in modern society have popularized a version of monogamy, which may be termed "serial monogamy." In this version, commitment or exclusivity typical of monogamy is maintained but it is usually confined to a limited period. In this increasingly popular romantic pattern, people still believe in some moderate form of ideal love, but give up their basic pretense that it should last forever. The beloved is still regarded to be unique, but in many cases he is not so for the rest of our life.

A serial monogamist is a person who loves being in love, and always finds himself or herself in a relationship all the time!

  • 1
    Ya know, Liz Taylor was actually one of the people I was thinking about when I wrote this. Also the Arlene Fowler character from True Blood. I don't know why someone DVed this. – Cascabel Jul 22 at 15:11

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.