Just like I asked in the subject line, I'm pretty lost in this, as I wouldn't know how to say a sentence like the following, speaking with a fem
Native speakers don't talk with fems. :)
There are certainly speech communities where various sorts of hailnames are used by men to address women with when for whatever reason they don’t want to call them by their given names or using the standard personal pronoun you.
Because virtually all of these risk insult, you should probably avoid trying to use any of them even if you are a native speaker.
And if you are not a native speaker, then you would do well to heed this advice about hailnames:
There are oodles of these, but most of them occur only between men, often young men, in casual situations. Many are strictly regional. Some say something about the age, sex, race, education, or social class of the speaker or the person addressed. Others carry a tone of irony, aggression, or condescension. They impose a faux intimacy if used on someone you don’t know, something many take offence at.
Whenever you address someone by something other than their name or the pronoun you, you risk offending them. Name-calling is risky business indeed.
It is impossible for the non-native to judge the appropriate connotation of these for any given situation. Even for native speakers they risk coming off as artificial or insincere; for non-native speakers, they are a mine field of assured self-destruction that may well get you sneered at or even punched in the face.
Since so many of them are regional or from one particular subculture, whenever someone with an accent other than the region they come from uses one of these, it sounds fake. Fake is bad.
You have been warned. Just don’t do it.