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I have the following sentence:

Please first look at our wiki space or contact your local siteops before opening a ticket, if you would like us to look into an issue, or have a change request, please open a JIRA ticket.

I was told I have grammar mistakes, especially with punctuation marks. Could someone please tell me how to make it better?

closed as off-topic by Jason Bassford, David, Hot Licks, JJJ, k1eran Jul 1 at 9:26

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Jason Bassford, David, k1eran
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 3
    Replace the comma after ticket with a semicolon—or use a period and start a second sentence. – Jason Bassford Jun 30 at 17:25
  • As stated, your sentence is ambiguous, or, at the least, a "garden path" construction. You need to make clear which end of your "sentence" is qualified by the "if" clause. – Hot Licks Jun 30 at 21:43
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Your sentence:

Please first look at our wiki space or contact your local site-ops before opening a ticket, if you would like us to look into an issue, or have a change request, please open a JIRA ticket.

As it is, your sentence is both a comma splice and a run-on sentence. Let's punctuate it a little better. That involves changing a run-on sentence into two separate sentences.

Before opening a ticket, please look first at our wiki space or contact your local site-ops. If you would like us to look into an issue, or you would like to submit [better word than have?] a change request, please open a JIRA ticket.

There are other--and perhaps preferable--ways to punctuate your instructions, but my suggestion is perhaps as good as any.

  • The original is more than just a run-on sentence. It's an example of a comma splice (two independent clauses joined by a comma without a conjunction). While some comma splices are acceptable stylistically, I can't imagine anyone thinking this one is. For it to be just a run-on sentence, add and before the if. – Jason Bassford Jun 30 at 21:06
  • Gotcha, Jason. Thanks. I cannot change my answer (I guess) after the OP's question is kaput. Don – rhetorician Jul 2 at 13:20
  • You should certainly be able to edit your sentence if you wish; when I click edit, it shows me an edit window, and it shouldn't be any different for you as the author. (Perhaps an edit to say "your sentence is both a comma splice and a run-on sentence"—assuming you want to make any change at all.) – Jason Bassford Jul 2 at 13:44
  • @JasonBassford: Thanks, Jason. Perhaps I was not logged in when I tried to make some changes. Don – rhetorician Jul 3 at 14:11

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